I've had serious anxiety issues and meditation has been the only thing to help significantly. I've spent ~1.5 hours/day meditating for the past six months or so, and I've studied meditation literature pretty seriously for about the past year.
At least in my case—and I think this isn't so unusual—there is a steep learning curve: for most people there's just not enough reason to stick with it. That said, at this point I can hardly imagine something more worthwhile. After acquiring some facility with it, my everyday experience with life feels more substantial—more 'real.' There's a kind of energy, curiosity, and enthusiasm that now often presents itself which I hadn't seen in a long time—maybe since I was ~22 or so (I'm 30 now). I also feel way less need to do things like smoke/drink, and have a restored sense of smell and taste. If you've felt like the world's turned grey at some point, give it a try.
I used to meditate for 20 minutes daily, but my mind still acted like a spoiled petulant child, so I upped it to two hours first thing in the morning (in one sitting). I use one of these meditation posters as a focal point: http://zenpusher.com
The results have been profound. My mind is quiet and obedient now. I experience equanimity throughout the day.
That's a lot of meditation! I am doing 20 minutes at the moment and I feel similar to you: I still have serious trouble staying focused on anything. Did you keep it up or was there a lasting effect?
What worked for me was basic yoga asanas to loosen up and then closing my eyes and focusing on relaxing every area of my body from my forehead, eyes, jaw and so on. I would do this thing where I wouls stretch my arms up as high as possible and tense up and much as I could and then relax my body as if to touch my toes. Works great if you have a tight neck or back.
I never saw a need to go beyond 30 minutes. In my opinion there is no right way. The breathe is key. Irregular breathing is a problem for many of us if we spend most of our day sitting in front a monitor tightening up.
Not one who meditates, but my mom advocates it. She says that having done meditation for a while (over a year? I'm not sure how much longer than that), she can now feel positive effects just after 5 minutes.
I need this. I just about have a breakdown at work every single day because I work in an extremely loud open office setup with no escape to a place of solitude. Everyone on the floor sees me as a wretched asshole, because it's true. Where should I start with meditation?
I'm a fan of both https://www.headspace.com and http://www.calm.com to get started. Both have free options to start out, and don't require a large amount of time to get started. The guided meditation at Headspace was key for me to get walking down this path.
Mindfulness in Plain English by Bhante Gunaratana has been a good start for me. It explains meditation, different flavors of mindfulness, as well as techniques and what to expect when you first start. I highly recommend it. http://www.amazon.com/Mindfulness-English-Bhante-Henepola-Gu...
Read the book "Search inside your Self" from the googler Chade-Meng Tan. I've read some books about meditation and this one was the one that really resonated with me (a technical person).
Technically you are right, but I think most beginners benefit from more guidance than that. It's like telling someone that all there is to golf is to hit the ball into the cup.
If you're sensitive to office noise I strongly suggest getting good noise cancelling headphones.
I had the same problem about a year ago, bought bose qc 25 and while a bit expensive it think it's money well spent, I'm much less aware of/annoyed by the noises around me
This thread seems somehow off topic, but it's a topic by itself…
I would recommend against images. They feel helpful at first but they tend to mislead by infusing the idea that they have something to do into the meditation.
Moreover, as an aside, I didn't see anyone mentioning that you don't force yourself out of thoughts: just let thoughts come and pass without considering them intentionally. (I guess that's what westoncb meant by https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=11135378)
But what can I say? I felt the way you describe for some time. I can't even say if it resulted of meditation. And it vanished as it came, unexpectedly. I may have considered that I acquired satori and experienced the hard way that satori is not something you possess. But I wouldn't be surprised to hear that my advice is bullshit according to OP.
(To anyone feeling like reading about zen meditation, I would recommend Shunryu Suzuki's book Not Always So: Practicing the True Spirit of Zen.)
But doesn't meditation impede that little thought machine that runs in most programmers' heads? What has put me off meditation a little bit was reports of people no longer getting those algorithmic lightbulb moments at the gym or elsewhere AFK, which then makes keyboard time more productive. My best business and life ideas have happened while I wasn't in the 'moment' of whatever I was doing, and instead highly absent and still in code/entrepreneuring/brainstorming mode (whether I knew it or not). I don't know if it's worth giving up all those moments to experience life on a deeper level (I'll regret writing this).
As far as i understand it, it's not so much that you can't do that anymore but that it's not automatic anymore. You can still let your mind do it's thing, e.g. hop on the thought train and let one thought lead to another. It's more that you choose to do that whereas for most people it just happens (automatically and subconciously)
Did it take a couple of sessions for you to be able to handle one hour in one session? I started with 20 minutes like you and have incrementally increased it to 40. I'm aiming for 60 minutes, but every time I increase my sitting length I find it incredibly difficult to sit through. Often I feel very stressed and like I'm about to break down due to the boredom. Did you experience this?
Did it take a couple of sessions for you to be able to handle one hour in one session?
Yes. I'd remember something I had to do or get a great idea and have to pause to write it down. I later realised it was just another trick my mind will use to regain control.
The point of meditation (for me, anyway) is to stop impulsive behaviour. That means everything must wait, even scratching an itch.
Often I feel very stressed and like I'm about to break down due to the boredom. Did you experience this?
Yes. Just yesterday at about the 1 3/4 hour mark I got incredibly stir crazy. I tried breathing myself calm again, but I must have sounded like a marathon runner on the last mile. In the final 10 minutes or so I settled back in.
You just got to ride out those rough patches. The journey is as valuable as the destination.
I consider meditation to be the most productive thing I can do. Since meditation affects my perspective on life, my relationships, my faith, my health - it supersedes everything else.
How do you keep your mind still? I've tried counting my breaths up to 10, one for in and one for out, but honestly, it's a lot harder than it sounds. I end up having to start from 1 again a lot of times.
Keeping the mind still isn't the point, nor is it possible without effort. Effort isn't really what is being indicated when experienced meditators talk about "stillness". Meditation is fundamentally extremely simple: focus on the chosen object of meditation, notice when distraction has arisen, return the attention to the chosen object of meditation. There are many useful paths/methods/techniques that can grow from this soil, but these should not be understood as goals.
Counting is thinking. The idea is to not follow wandering thoughts. When you get it your mind is silent, and you are fully present. You can hear everything around, not even a ninja could sneak up on you.
From what I understand, it's slightly different from escaping conceptual thought entirely. The idea is to not direct your thoughts, but rather observe them without judgement as they arise and fade away. So the idea is balanced observation, and this is easier to do by relaxing your mind and body.
Gil Fronsdal's podcast is great. A lot of meditation teachers seem to be either very distant or have an alienating New Age-y-ness about them. I found Gil to be very relatable and informative.
I suggest you start with HeadSpace, it's an app with zero spirituality or religion, and IMO killer content (if I'm not mistaken, the voice of the videos is that of the founder himself, who used to be a monk). Most of the content you have to pay for, but it provides the first 10 lessons (for the first 10 days, although you can replay them as much as you want) for free, and I think they're a fantastic, easy way to get started.
"Killer content"? I did 5 of the first free sessions and the content was essentially the same each time and the process is probably easier to do on your own once you have learned the 3-4 steps that are repeated. Did I miss something?
I also recommend Headspace! Certainly do the free content, and I think it's worth paying for a while longer. You don't pay to learn facts or techniques...get those from books...you pay to be given structure in real-time---the whisper in your ear to get back on track, now try this, now try that. For the effect of "now I'm going to meditate" when you hear that guy's voice. When you're just starting out, this sort of help is probably the most important thing.
Look up Sharon Salzberg. She, along with a few others, helped spread the practice of insight meditation in North America a few decades ago. That book includes a CD containing guided meditations and attempts to provide a framework for practice over 28 days.
There is a vast "spiritual marketplace" in the western culture which incorporates everything from yoga, to self-help movements, life-coaches, new-age, pop psychology, and more.
I recommend you pick a Wisdom tradition with roots in the very ancient past of which there are several, and make a study of it's roots and branches and resist the urge to tightly couple yourself to one teacher until you've read more about the practice and heritage. Buddhism is an example of one such Wisdom tradition.
If you get an audio guide you can essentially start right away. If you have a streaming service, search for 'mindfulness'. On Google play there is one from Oxford. They used to have several albums from Kabatt-Zinn but they seem to have disappeared. I would recommend those. In any case, make sure to purchase so you are not interrupted by ads.
If you want to do a bit of research there is a YouTube video of a Kabatt-Zinn talk at Google where he leads a short session.
Meditation is substantially observation without identification, nothing more, nothing less.
If you want to start:
1. Sit down with legs crossed (comfortable)
2. Just sit and see thoughts, listen sounds, sense your body
3. Just be. No doing required.
For mindfulness, this features as part of DBT, a therapy targetted at people who suffer from borderline personality disorder.
Although a bit drastic, searching for "DBT mindfulness" will provide tonnes of resources that teach mindfulness techniques in a way that's acceptable in a clinical setting. Things such as worksheets, DBT websites, etc.
Headspace is also a fantastic suggestion, as above.
This is more traditional meditation; mindfulness is something which is also practiced in a sort of everyday life, but here's a 5-minute guide to meditating.
So the first thing you need that's often sadly overlooked is a special place which you make for meditation. This can be as simple as "I am going to set an exercise mat in the middle of the carpet in my living room." Keep the space to be relatively clean. Cleaning is itself a great way to dedicate your mind to wholesomeness and order.
Once you've cleaned a space and imbued it with symbolic power, "here is where I am going to meditate", you sit there. Sit however you like the first several times. There is a special way to sit involving a "Zafu" (a pillow that when compressed is still 4-6 inches wide) that you may want to research, where you sit on the edge of it with much weight resting on your knees, and your feet are in a position that neither restricts blood flow nor pinches nerves. The cushion angles your hips forwards, which keeps your back straight. But if you don't have the disposable income to get the cusion for this, just sit down however feels comfortable. Place your hands wherever feels most natural for you to be able to breathe deeply.
Once you have a comfortable seat in that place, it helps to have a little speech to focus your attention and remind yourself what you are doing and why. One Buddhist pre-meditation speech I heard says (with a bit of misremembering and translation error doubtless thrown in): "I am here to end my confusion and distraction. If ending confusion is more important to me right now than everything else, I will succeed. If it is not more important than something, I won't. I am not here to learn some new ideology, but just to pay attention to my own mind: I want to awaken to the causes of my distraction so that I can learn how they work and restrict their power over me."
Now, have something repetitive that you can come constantly back to. Distraction works like alcohol works: if you ingest a little, it subtly compromises your mind in just the sort of way that makes it more likely to ingest more. So this is why the space is clean and you are sitting with good posture without pain, so that you remove the most common distractions of mess, sleep, discomfort.
Many people use the rhythm of deep breaths as the repetitive thing they can come back to. If you are a more visual person, you might want to instead put an object of religious veneration, be it a cross or a Buddha or what-have-you. Someone whose peacefulness you can study is good.
I once helped develop a more "active" picture for a friend who had grown up with either ADD or ADHD, I don't remember which. She said she needed something more like a wholesome movie. We tried to structure it so that it could still be repetitive. Then a week later neither of us could remember what we had done the week before, so we created a new one but as a mnemonic we structured it around 5 elements. It looked something like this:
Dwell on each of these for 10-15 minutes as a way to eliminate
distractions. If you find yourself thinking about something else,
allow yourself to think about it for a little, then return to the
element you're on.
1. (Air) You are walking through a forest, and the wind is blowing
through the trees, blowing through your hair, removing any
impurity or distraction that is an obstacle to your growth. You
settle on a direction where these winds of change are at your
back, letting them push you wherever they need you.
2. (Fire) There is the smell of smoke, then a feeling of heat
behind you, then light, and you find yourself running, running
through this forest which lights up, needing to take swift,
dynamic action to dodge the flames and keep ahead of the blaze,
to get to safety.
3. (Water) The fire opens up into a clearing with a river. There are
some scared animals: a fox, some bunnies, a squirrel. You are
holding them to your chest to reassure them, and then you lay on
your back in the river, rafting them safely downstream. Your
compassion brings a calm, soothing rain which starts to fall,
extinguishing the blaze into steam.
4. (Earth) You get up and set the animals free as the river bends
near a rock face, and walk along the side of the hill. You find a
trail that goes up it. You feel these smooth, ancient, unmoving
stones beside you as you ascend this cliff. You feel calm and
relaxed with these stones that never need to be anything other
than what they are.
5. (Void) The trail opens up to a landing. You sit down on the
landing with this solid rock beneath you and look up at the night
sky. You see the valley in front of you, even more mountain behind
you, and are struck by how big this place is and how small we are.
The bottom line is that anything works, if it's not too complicated and allows you to say "hey, I am thinking too much about this other person who insulted me the other day, I'm just going to come back to this thing I'm supposed to be focusing on and focus on that instead."
I'll share a technique I stumbled upon years ago that helps me tremendously whenever I feel stressed, e.g., to meet some gig deadline....no link, but it only takes a few minutes...
Just sit and focus on letting your lower jaw hang open for, say 5 minutes ...all the slack you can get...I think you'll find it's very hard to worry, or think about much anything else while consciously doing this...
It's very typical for the average person to go through the day with their jaw at least lightly clenched...more tightly when under stress...
Try it..consider it open source...
To increase the benefit breathe in deeply and force yourself to exhale for twice the amount of time it took you to breathe in...or, do this separately...
Watch the video I linked to and others from the same guy (Ajahn Brahm). If you want other perspectives on the subject—which eventually, you probably should—might checkout "Meditation for Beginners": pretty good compilation of ~20 different meditation experts speaking on the subject with different backgrounds and focuses
Basically my routine is 10 minutes a day (in the mornings) and after one week doing this in a row I've already started to notice how differently my body react to anxiety.
Later on, how I handle stress changed completely, I started to become numb to harsh events.
Ha! —true, that makes it difficult at first. He's a monk in a religious tradition, but I don't think he's very religious himself. He definitely keeps the content of his talks almost totally free of religious/spiritual stuff. He also studied physics at Cambridge, and is generally pretty rational. But yeah, funny costume :)
Thank you for this video. I'm just starting to get interested in the subject, and I think I was approaching it more in the "Meditation Seals" mentality. Glad I saw this video before going in.
Great post. I'm sometimes feeling the heat myself. I think I'm maybe expecting too much of myself. I've been attempting meditation before, but I will give it another try after your read.
I found it difficult to meditate for very long. However, I do close my eyes and slow my breathing before I have to do something difficult, or something which causes great anxiety.
You don't need to really meditate once you get in the habit of breathing exercises.
After doing meditation for a while, I found it was much easier to just breathe and calm myself while going about my daily life.
Once you know how to do it on purpose, it's easy to do it in the moment. I don't feel like I really need to actively meditate -- I habitually focus on my breathing, and re-center myself all day long.
I may not get to Nirvana this way, but it makes my day easier, and that's all that I was looking for.
1.5 hours per day is a very impressive accomplishment. Even some serious gurus don't pull that off on a daily basis. I've read about legendary artists who considered meditation a key to their sanity, and they often couldn't do it for more than 15-20 minutes in a day.
You are actually able to do proper meditation -- the removal of all focus on thoughts -- for 1.5 hours at a time? Or do you mean several times a day, a few minutes each time?
I posit that no one is really able to achieve, 'the removal of all focus on thoughts -- for 1.5 hours at a time' every day. Even serious gurus. This is not at all my own observation, this is what I've heard directly from longtime teachers from several different traditions.
Oh, yeah, I know what you mean. I certainly wasn't saying you're NOT meditating for 1.5 hours a day. Just was trying to convey that when most people meditate for 90 minutes, they're tend to spend some portion of that session utterly distracted by something, even if only briefly. Or so I've been led to believe. It's certainly true for me.
I was more responding to hellofunk when they said "1.5 hours per day is a very impressive accomplishment. Even some serious gurus don't pull that off on a daily basis." This make me think that meditation is viewed as something you can check a box for, or as a goal to be achieved, which isn't really quite right.
Particularly the use of the word 'accomplishment'... If meditation is something to be accomplished, then if you thought about that noise your transition is making on steep hills for 60 seconds in the middle of a sit, you got distracted, and thus you did not successfully meditate today. I don't view it that way.
For those of you who consider meditation a bunch of mumbo-jumbo, I get it, for I felt (and sometimes still feel) the same way. But let me try to phrase meditation in the terms I understand it as.
We often find ourselves in stressful or difficult situations, we are constantly bombarded by external worries, and we think it is difficult to deal with our problems. However, no matter how big external issues are, the way that we ultimately interpret these problems is up to our mind. At times we might find a dark joke about death incredibly funny, and at other times it may make us cry. Meditation takes a break from dealing with these interpretations of the world for a moment (instead concentrating on something basic like breathing) and in doing so, gives us a way to acknowledge the fact that our interpretations of the world are all in our head. So even if we can't extend full control over them, these thoughts and feelings are still ours and we might have some influence over them, and it turns out even briefly having this feeling can affect your mind in the long term.
A side effect of meditating is that you might learn to replicate the sense of "stepping outside the situation" even outside of meditation, allowing you to relax and consider the big picture rationally in intense moments in which you might've been originally felt too caught up "in the moment".
> interpretations of the world are all in our head
I don't think most people are stressed because of "interpretations" of the world rather than very real problems like paying the bills and terrible working conditions.
Paying a bill should never be so stressful that it causes a person to override their innate self-preservation and start thinking about suicide.
The problem is a real world problem. The reaction to it is in someone's head.
Sometimes people get overwhelmed by the feelings created by negative life events, and mindfulness style meditation is one way for people to calm those thoughts and emotions and allow them to work out more reasonable solutions.
This is important because sometimes cognitive behaviour therapy is sold as "fix your broken thinking". Imagine someone has a history of abuse - they often say that their thinking is a reasonable result of the abuse.
The "trick" is to not let these things overwhelm you. __Worrying__ about your bills doesn't make you able to pay them! In fact it may actually paralyze you.
It's analogous to physical pain. If you're holding your hand on the stove and it burns, it makes you pull your hand away. But some people may be "miswired" and not pull away. But then the solution isn't to give them painkillers and just watch their hand burn its flesh away.
But then again, there is pain that doesn't indicate something fixable. Like chronic back pain. Then it's best to just reduce the pain itself.
Now, how do you differentiate in case of worrying? Probably by asking a trusted friend or family member or someone else if they think your worries are legitimate and what they suggest doing.
But not all stress has a concrete cause, like bills. Sometimes people just get stressed and anxious in general.
I'd wager that some general base level of worry exists in all humanity that comes to surface regardless of wealth and security. I mean, the magazines in rich countries (especially Western Europe) are full of "how do I get happy", "how do I become myself", "how do I unfold my potential" etc. At least in poorer countries people can always point out why they are stressed. They can blame the bills, the credit, the other political side etc.
In places like SV, people live so well, they are past the point of realistic worries, so they don't understand why they don't feel fully happy.
If you have a shitty life in a poor country, without any hope of stepping forward, nobody will think you're depressed. Everyone, including you, will think it's just a natural reaction. I guess this is why depression is such a big topic in rich places and is seen as some whining and bitching in less developed places.
It turns our that in many cases chronic back pain (and other pain) has a psychological component to it as well. Often that pain is a response to some sort of mental stress or tensions.
From my understanding, our minds are are not literally filled with things in the real world (for they would not fit) but are instead filled with "thoughts" which "refer" to real things. But my "thought" of peanut butter, for example, might have significantly different "connotations" for me than for someone with an allergy to peanut butter. So what I'm saying is, these "thoughts" and what they "connote" to the individual mind they belong to, is subjective and in our heads, but they may in fact refer to very objective, real, problems.
If you define worry as "the state of being anxious and troubled over actual or potential problems", then I'd argue that worrying in itself has no positive effect on the 'real' problem anyways.
The only mechanism by which 'worry' might be useful is if it triggers the problem-solving part of the mind and ultimately leads to actions that solve this problem. In my opinion this mechanism is highly inefficient and in fact often backfires: we focus on the worry instead of thinking about solutions, let alone implementing these solutions.
Meditation, and a mindful approach to life is first of all useful as a debugging mechanism. As you train your ability to direct your thoughts and pause them, you learn to discern what kind of thinking is useful, and what isn't.
So, for example, you might realize that you've been caught up in worry and just the act of being aware of this pointless train of thought might prompt you to sit down and create an action list of how to get out of this situation.
Another benefit is that frequent meditation somehow improves the connection between the thinking mind and the subconscious, as well as the body. I've had moments where meditation helped me suddenly realize a solution to a problem that I couldn't previously solve. And almost every time that I meditate, I will be aware of hunger, or thirst, or some other feeling or physical need that I would otherwise completely neglect.
Now I'm a particular type of person, so these benefits might be more explicit to me, but from what I understand most people will experience these things to some extent.
There's no one answer to that, because "how" is dependent on the individual and their relation to their thoughts (i.e. my thoughts are probably organized very differently from yours).
Furthermore, it is hard to claim that one would be able to "alter their thoughts" as directly as your sentence suggests, but meditation at least allows the recognition of separation between the "worry" in the mind and the "problem" in reality.
For some people, this recognition leads to a sense of control over that worry, which might be one example of your "how".
There's an old saying about not being able to change your wind, but being able to change your sales? It's like that.
Imagine you've got a bill due that you know you're not going to have money to pay no matter what you do. This is a significant amount of stress that you're going to be carrying with you over something you really don't have the power or situation to do anything about.
Hence: Change your sail. The consequences of missing that payment are insignificant in the long term, and dwelling on it is going to do you more mental damage than moving a number in a database down a few ticks.
Same with a horrible job. Even when you get time off, there's that sickening dread at the edge of your perception that soon, you'll have to go back. And it eats on you like nothing else.
Change how you think about it. You can dwell on it and be stressed out, or you can recognize that this, too, shall pass.
That sounds trite and blasé.. and it probably is, until you really internalize it, and realize that you ultimately have control over what you choose to dwell on.
The stress is the interpretation of/response to "very real problems". One of the habits formed in meditation is the ability to create space between perception and interpretation, in which we can explicitly notice how the mind is reacting to these problems, and where we can create a habit of asking of ourselves questions like "is this feeling/reaction useful?".
It's impossible to worry without interpretation. The method of interpretation can determine needless worrying about externalities vs handling them in stride.
I don't consider it mumbo-jumbo. But I feel it doesn't fit well with my Western mindset: it costs a lot of time, and is that really the best way to spend that time?
I'd rather go out and walk, and think about problems I want to solve. Or use the time to get something done.
A lot of time? I'd say 30 minutes a day (consistently) is enough to get significant benefits. And after all, don't we all easily waste 30 minutes a day or things which really don't contribute much to our lives? Say, browse reddit or watch a TV show. Personally, I've found that trying to meditate in the middle of the day, even late at night, when I'm all "wired" from/during work, or just everyday life, is hard. What I found way easier to stick to is meditate first thing in the morning, only after going to the bathroom. At this point, if you're like me, you're the least anxious / stressed / wired or however you want to call it, and it's way easier to justify spending 30 minutes just being present and quiet. Any other time of the day and it feels like "I don't have time for this", even if I just wasted 30 or 60 minutes procrastinating (or I know I'm about to).
I need to get up way too early, get myself and my children dressed and fed, and commute to work. In the evening it's commute back, eat, get kids to bed, do chores, and then there's about two hours of free time / social things / time to interact with my wife.
So about a quarter of available time.
I would be a bit more relaxed, I know, it might have other benefits. But not enough, I think.
"You should sit in meditation for twenty minutes every day -- unless you're too busy. Then you should sit for an hour."
While I don't think it's necessary to sit an hour every day, it does inspire me. In my experience, if you meditate every day for a few weeks/months, you will start feeling more 'grounded'. You'll be more calm in most situations. You will be chasing external happiness less, and just be more content with being. It's pretty hard to describe, but to me, it seems like a good thing.
Zen is a form of Buddhism. Buddhism is interesting and many of the things is says are wise, but ultimately it sees life as suffering and its aim is to reduce suffering.
As interesting as it is, I come from a culture that is too different. No matter how futile it ultimately is, I want to _achieve things_. Being at peace with life feels good but is ultimately not enough.
Have you looked into Stoicism? It's got a lot of the Buddhist elements of learning to accept the present while also focusing on achievement. I think of it in some ways as a Western-friendly mindfulness approach. A Guide to the Good Life [1] is a great book on the subject, and in the past has helped me be more effective in life, while also being happier. I've also heard good things about The Obstacle Is the Way [2].
Marcus Aurelius has been on my reading list for years, but he never got to the top of the list. Maybe it's time to read something on this subject, like one of your suggestions, thanks!
It's true, the Buddha taught the cessation of suffering. But he said to do it by really understanding what's going on. You can achieve things either way. But you might choose to achieve different things if you have more insight into the nature of reality.
It sounds like you suffer if you don't achieve things. Nothing in Buddhism says that you shouldn't achieve anything if that is your nature. The purpose of Buddhism isn't to become a monk - it's to become happy.
It is notable that Steve Jobs was a Buddhist and seriously considered becoming a monk. His Buddhist teacher recommended that he continue with his computers.
I feel the same. I have a 6 month old and 2 year old. I'm an only child and when I was young I had hour and hours (especially in school holidays) to sit, read, play on my computer and think.
Now I have a couple of hours spare a day. I work for about 8.5 hrs and sometimes spend a bit of time in the even programming but mainly find time to exercise/see friends and wife/read or watch TV. It seems to improve as the children get older. I've enjoyed meditating and yoga in the past and I think I will do more in the future, but I also find things like playing an instrument, programming, walking outside to be equally helpful.
I'd say playing an instrument or walking both are nearly equivalent to meditation, because with the former you're clearing your mind and focusing on playing, and the latter you're clearing your mind as you expend energy walking while looking at and enjoying nature (or at least that's what walking does for me). They seem to have similar effects to when I have meditated (very infrequently, so YMMV) in the past.
Start with a 9 minute track on your lunch break. You ca find 9 minutes. Part of the battle for all of us is doing it when we would rather do something else.
Well, downtime can be valuable. When I think about problems all my waking time, I get kind of burned out. So sitting quietly and just breathing, in that situation, is actually more valuable than thinking. It's kind of like having a nice bath or sauna.
Siddhartha Guatama (sp?) used to meditate while walking.
I think the idea in the end is, the mind is a tool. If you spend time developing the tool you'll get better results out of it when you're not spending time developing it.
So even if you could use that thirty minutes to do something else, you might, in the end, be able to get more done, with a more sharply honed (clearer) mind.
That being said, is it right for you? I have no idea.
Meditation is not limited to strictly sitting indian style in a dark quiet room. Find your own style. If taking a walk calms you down then do that. If you like laying on your back and staring at the stars, then do that. Don't rely too much on how others tell you you should do it
I have a stationary exercise bike in my basement. I ride it for 20-30 minutes almost every day. While I'm riding, I close my eyes and meditate, mostly just focusing on my breathing. I get my cardio and my meditation handled in one shot.
It's not the time aspect. It's that being type B is already a liability enough in corporate America. Making myself even further away from the "type A" end of the spectrum would harm my career even more. Sad.
Thanks, that's helpful. Did you study meditation by yourself and if so, is there a book/manual that you would recommend?
I frequently spend long moments in silence "doing" nothing, but thinking about a lot of things; when I try to not think, I tend to fall asleep quite rapidly; I wonder how to not think and yet not sleep...?
I strongly recommend "Buddhism Plain & Simple" by Steve Hagen. It's much more meditation / awareness than Buddhist practice, so don't worry much about the title. I also really enjoyed "10% Happier" which was way more of a practical story vs. instruction manual. In general, meditation is NOT about "not thinking" - a major misconception about the practice. It's always helped me to view it less as a "mental getaway" and more as "training my mind like a muscle."
The practice, btw, is the whole point, it's not a means to getting to "the real part." That's a difficult point for some to grasp. Every time you sit and your mind wanders, that's the practice right there. This might be the most accurate image of what meditation is: http://www.highexistence.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/medi...
I don't have a manual, and I think everyone might do it a little differently, I just sit comfortably and focus on my breathing.
I think something key is to concentrate on something simple and constant (such as breathing in, breathing out) rather than not thinking about anything. Then, inevitably thoughts will arise, but when we think of something while meditating, we acknowledge it ("ok, I acknowledge that I'm thinking about this right now") and let the thought go, returning to focus on the breathing. That might keep you from falling asleep.
What you describe is the same as how I would describe riding my bike. I generally have a heart rate monitor on and I focus on keeping my cadence high and my heart rate steady (in whatever zone I am working in at the time). Up until 24 hours after riding I feel clarity in mind and body.
First time I meditated was one month ago. 20 Minutes. It was a pain, doing nothing, just breathing, keeping focus on your breath and body. I was suffering every second, doing nothing, having no thoughts, no mind wandering. It was so hard and awfully boring. Once finished I went back to my Macbook welcoming me with an open Facebook tab from my last session. My first thought:
I didn't do that shit for 20 minutes to be now on Facebook—and closed the tab.
I took the mindfulness course at Stanford[1] to support my wife who needed it. I was highly skeptical initially, but really enjoyed it. He teaches mindfulness through practice and leaves religious association out of it. It takes practice to become better at it, but it wasn't as painful for me as you described. In mindfulness meditation (at least the way it was taught in that course) the idea isn't to not think about anything or not let your mind wander, but to be mindful that your mind is wandering. It keeps you 'in the moment'. The guided exercises (mp3s and in class) really help make it easier.
Admittedly, I stopped actively practicing shortly after the course ended, but do find it extremely helpful when my mind is racing and I can't fall sleep. 5-10 mins of breathing exercise and I'll be fast sleep.
Do you realize you are probably suffering every minute even when you don't have to sit quietly? It is enough to be away from the rich source of distraction and immediately a kind of anxiety appears, making you seek the next stimulus. Is it ok to live with such a constant need to be fed with this stream of data?
> "Do you realize you are probably suffering every minute even when you don't have to sit quietly?"
Why? Because it's not possible to enjoy it? Because desire is linked to suffering?
Here's the thing. I get why ego can get in the way of enjoying things more fully, and that meditation can help give you a broader perspective on life, but I don't buy into the whole superiority that comes from self-denial. I don't think there's wisdom in shutting yourself away from the world. You can enjoy the chaos, not in some limited way, but fully enjoy it. If you need a simple life to get your kicks then fine, but that's just one model of a fulfilling life, there are others.
Why can't you enjoy something for what it is? As I said, it's possible to enjoy chaos. You don't know what chaos will bring, but you can still enjoy it as it comes along.
Desire is a misused word. It's used as a catch all for all pleasure seeking, but in reality it's a special type of pleasure seeking, a directed form of pleasure seeking based on craving. If you're a pleasure seeker that doesn't have any strong craving for one type of pleasure over another you're still grouped in with those that are addicted to certain types of pleasure.
In other words, if you enjoy life as it comes, you aren't plagued with the problems of craving, therefore the same rules don't apply.
>> I was suffering every second,
>Do you realize you are probably suffering every minute even
>when you don't have to sit quietly?
This wasn't about enjoying "life as it comes". This was about being addicted to the next stimulus; exposed by just trying to sit down and meditate for 20 minutes.
You're conflating being able to handle and enjoy some chaos with the inability to tolerate a few moments of peace.
> "You're conflating being able to handle and enjoy some chaos with the inability to tolerate a few moments of peace."
The suggestion was that you suffer even when your mind is engaged in something where this suffering was not apparent. In other words, even when you don't feel like you're suffering, you probably are. I disagreed with this by pointing out that even though meditation has its merits, there are other ways to enjoy your life, and therefore this assumption that you're 'probably suffering' is somewhat of a stretch.
I had the same experience. Though I tried multiple times with different methods, I have never benefited from meditation, or I never felt so, contrary to most studies. Maybe we are in the <0.05 population?
What I basically meant: while meditating was not satisfying at all the afterwards felt great: I didn't had any urge to waste time with Facebook or other unproductive activities.
The biggest problem around meditation is that most are not able to clearly express what meditation is really doing with you.
For me personally - the benefits from meditation were obvious but I think that was because I'm pretty neurotic and was in a really stressful life situation.
It was like ibuprofen for my suffering mind. Not that it helped immediately - but after a prolonged practice I noticed that suddenly my mind was not in psychic pain and I could just take the situation at hand without unnecessary added stress.
So, I suppose the perceived results might depend on the life situation at hand (ambient stress factors, so to speak).
> It was a pain, doing nothing, just breathing, keeping focus on your breath and body. I was suffering every second, doing nothing, having no thoughts, no mind wandering. It was so hard and awfully boring
For me, this is one of the main reasons I want to try to take up meditation (I still haven't). It just seems so absurd that simply sitting down and doing nothing would feel so uncomfortable. So, why not do it and maybe discover what is going on.
Meditation didn't "click" for me for a long time because it wasn't ... aggressive enough.
A friend taught me this: Sit or lie still. Burn your body with a white-hot fire, starting at your toes. Incinerate yourself. Visualize intense fire with a child's pure unfettered imagination. Let that fire burn your body slowly, creeping up inch by inch with its quiet impersonal anger. When your body has burnt up, the fire quiets down and the weightless ash blows away. Then you open your eyes.
This worked for me - I felt it! - and opened up meditation for me. I have since had very good success with the Headspace app, for instance.
Another important thought for me was "Meditation is watching your thoughts go by like the bubbles in a glass of champagne."
Overall, in a nutshell, what meditation has done for me is: There is more of what should be. There is less of what shouldn't be.
There is also a growing body of evidence that for some people mindfulness and meditation can cause intense and lasting anxiety and exacerbate depression. (Just one of several recent stories on the subject: http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2016/jan/23/is-mindf...)
That has been my experience. I've done meditation retreats and the like. I do find it slows down my mind, but can also surface things that frankly I'm perfectly happy to leave under the surface.
I also don't believe every trauma or internal struggle can be answered or managed, or should be at a given time. Sometimes the best sanity-preservation mode is to ignore it until enough time has passed when we have the mental tools to face it. Mindfulness and meditation both make it hard to bury stuff til you're ready to mentally dig it up. Perhaps day-to-day stress benefits most from it.
I think it's a great idea for some people and I can see the attraction. But I also get tired of people suggesting it to me.
Massage on the other hand...that's like miracle medicine.
> I've done meditation retreats and the like. I do find it slows down my mind, but can also surface things that frankly I'm perfectly happy to leave under the surface.
Please don't take this the wrong way, but to me, that sounds less like meditation and more like sitting with your eyes closed. If thoughts arise that cause feelings of fear, anger, shame, panic, etc… those thoughts and feelings can be noticed and observed (just like breathing or any other sensation). Once you do notice them, the experience is very different.
> Sometimes the best sanity-preservation mode is to ignore it until enough time has passed when we have the mental tools to face it.
I think Eugene Gendlin[1] put it best:
> What is true is already so. Owning up to it doesn't make it worse. Not being open about it doesn't make it go away. And because it's true, it is what is there to be interacted with. Anything untrue isn't there to be lived. People can stand what is true, for they are already enduring it.
– "The Listening Manual" in Focusing (1978), p. 138.
Agree that in a meditative moment you can observe and let these thoughts go, but they've still surfaced and that can have repercussions.
I like the quote :), but I also believe there's value to postponing interacting with said truth. IMHO sometimes the best medicine is avoidance, at least until enough time has passed that the horror and truth can be acknowledged without causing one to lose their mind.
I'm very interested in it, I've done it quite a bit, and I've been to several retreats... and I also get tired of the way people go around recommending it willy-nilly.
I don't recommend stuff like that to people, because in most cases it's presumptuous. I don't know what your mind is like, I don't know what's going to happen when you use any particular method, I don't have a wide experience with teaching meditation, I'm just some guy living my own life the best I can manage it...
There's a lot of the same effect as with people who recently started running, or recently started some particular diet, or whatever it may be... for some reason that thing fit into their ideas and lifestyle, and it coincided with a hockey stick point in their satisfaction, or something, and they feel the urge to recommend—for benevolent reasons, since they just want other people to get that satisfaction, too.
There's a difference because meditation, in the most taught forms, is very intimate, as you describe. Its "subject matter" is basically the entire life of the mind, emotions, thoughts, memories, everything, so unless your psyche is squeaky clean like Mr Flanders (who in that one episode of course turned out to have some heavily repressed traumas), meditation is not going to be a nice walk in the park.
Almost everybody who starts doing it finds that they for some reason can't do it as often or as much as they'd like to... it's often unclear why... but could it have to do with the fact that you're sitting down in utter silence and facing like everything at once? And it's kind of intense, and sometimes very painful?
Then there's also the whole "happiness" aspect of the hype & marketing, where everybody imagines that the ideal to aspire for is a happy, smiling, Thich Nhat Hanh type, or something, and all the rhetoric becomes infused with this naive optimism, everybody knows this caricature. So then if you sit down and you find that you actually feel very lonely, or very confused, or very anxious, very angry, very horny, or very whatever... then what? "Just breathe, let it all go..." Ugh!
Sorry, I'm just ranting. For me it's one of these situations when you're very interested in something but the way other people advocate it makes you just cringe.
It is a well known phenomenon depending on which body of literature on meditation you study. It is also one reason I avoid recommending meditation to people in general.
How does mindfulness meditation surface unpleasant memories for you? When I do mindfulness meditation, I often have thoughts occurring, but they're exactly the same sort of thoughts I usually have when I'm spacing out. It doesn't surface anything that I don't already tend to think about. Of course, I don't have any traumatic memories. Could you describe what happens in your head?
At least twice so far I've spontaneously burst into tears, overwhelmed with sadness over things that happened earlier in the day or before that. In all cases I felt fine beforehand.
Now, for me the experience was really good, actually, because it felt like a relief to let these feelings out. But I can definitely imagine more intense and complex feelings coming to the surface that don't lead to relief but would require professional help and guidance.
> That has been my experience. I've done meditation retreats and the like. I do find it slows down my mind, but can also surface things that frankly I'm perfectly happy to leave under the surface.
This is generally acknowledged by many meditation traditions especially ones which incorporate vipassana, but perhaps less so by the scientists who write papers about meditation. At some point in the practice all your "inner stuff" can come up: fear, confusion, uncertianty, memory of trauma, etc. Jung called it the "shadow", a popular spiritual teacher Eckart Tolle calls it the "pain-body", and in some Christian traditions they use them term "dark night of the soul". Psychologists may call it PTSD-like-symptoms.
Buddhists believe that one has to purge the mind-body of the three poisons as part of the process of awaking, and during this process it's normal for unsettling mental fabrications to arise.
Some practitioners in America feel like they did not sign up for a deep purge/cleanse of their dark inner content because the whole meditation affair was pitched to them as a form of gentle relaxation therapy. For many people however it can become almost a sort of all-encompassing, existential, ground shaking, transformative process which can sometimes feel like a burden when viewed from a lense where you only indicator of progress has to do with how socially well-adjusted you are in terms of finance, social signals, dating, etc.
Plus statistically speaking some percentage of the people who have their untamed mental processes come up are likely to be ensnared by these creepers in some way and perhaps spiral out of control or go off the deep end. However the meditation dharma-sword is an approprate instrument to hack your way through the mental jungle, and come out the other end which opens up to reveal a mountain. Whether you climb to the summit of your mountain, or just make a cave dwelling within is up to you, but at least you have an elevated perspective relative to the jungle of untamed body consciousness below.
I imagine this phenomenon generally has less to do with meditation/mindfulness, and more to do with Relaxation-Induced Anxiety: https://duckduckgo.com/?q=%22relaxation-induced+anxiety%22 . Which is its own problem, with its own treatments. Like in programming, reliable reproduction is at least half the battle in solving a bug.
Upon re-reading the OP, let me stress: generally. As in, various reports and articles about meditation triggering anxiety and/or panic. I am by no means e-diagnosing or responding to anyone in particular! Just noting that Relaxation-Induced Anxiety is a real and treatable problem, and that it would make sense for meditation to be a reliable trigger for it.
I can somewhat relate to this. Meditation ups my sensitivity level of all sensations it seems, including the negative ones. There are times when this is a good thing, like when I have the time and energy to solve personal and inter-personal problems. Other times, when I just need to get some shit done, it can be exhausting.
Because sometimes it takes time to be able to face your demons.
Life doesn't stop when bad shit happens. You still have to go to the grocery store and do laundry. You still stub your toe on a curb. People still fart on the subway. Sometimes you can let life happen for awhile, let your body heal and your emotions level and your mind strengthen before diving into the reality of what happened. There's no timeframe for this. Days, weeks, months, years. Depends on the person.
> Mind you they _will_ hurt you over time if you just push them away.
How do you know that? (I'm not being facetious.)
I seem to recall there being reasonably solid[1] evidence that thinking about traumatic experiences can actually worsen anxiety and other PTSD symptoms. (Too lazy to look up references, and I don't have access to any paywalled journals anyway, so...) The evidence seems to point to just leaving things be may be better (well, less bad) than trying to "work through" the issues because it means that you'll be wallowing in the traumatic experience over and over.
If you've sustained some leg injury or are recovering from one, you should probably not go for a run, but taking a walk might be crucial in the recovery, or at least beneficial.
Similarly, I'm sure that some form of meditation is healthy for the vast majority of people, even if it's just five minutes of staring out your window and focusing on your breath, or at least not getting wrapped up in a thought. I know quite a few people (including myself pre-meditation) who run a constant internal monologue, and even that little bit can be hugely beneficial.
But fundamentally I do agree that going off to something as intense as a retreat is probably not a good idea for everyone. It's just not either/or, in my view.
For those who "don't have time" or find it difficult to get into a mindful state while doing meditation: try it while performing some sort of routine task (something we do on 'autopilot').
During a drive or commute
While you play a video game or sport
When you're cleaning your house
If you experience a side-thought like the clichéd, "did I leave the stove on?" answer it ("no, I surely didn't") or eliminate it ("I don't remember, but I'll find out when I get home") and move on to the next thought. Eventually you'll run out of these side-thoughts.
It might take a few tries, or maybe many, to run through this subconscious checklist of side-thoughts, but the goal is to run out of them. Then you're left to yourself, no side-thoughts to distract you.
This, in itself, can be worrisome because many people aren't comfortable with what it feels like to "just be," so hack your discomfort by creating another checklist: how does this make me feel physically? Is this state of mind stressful to me? What would it feel like if it wasn't? How would it look if I were the kind of person who handled this particular stress easily?
Point is, don't rush it.
Give it several tries. You probably need more repetitions to consciously break down your own checklist of thoughts.
Much of meditation's benefit (to myself) is in learning to handle decisions and worries as they happen, and removing them from my checklist of things to meditate over when I actually do take the time to meditate later in the day. Most things people worry over don't matter.
You should not meditate while driving, cleaning your house or doing sports. That is as dangerous as driving, cleaning your house or doing sports under the influence of mind altering drugs.
I often hear people say, "hm, I'll go meditate on that..." Or a guy I know who says he meditates on his ideas for his art. But actually, that is the complete opposite of what meditation is supposed to be. When properly meditating, the goal is to not concentrate or think about anything.
I just point this out because the basics of what meditation actually is are widely misunderstood by most Westerners -- and even some I met in Asia.
It's the other way round. To meditate is latin-based English word (Latin "meditari": to reflect upon, to consider, to think about) that predates exposure to Far Eastern cultures.
It's quite fair to say that the word is a misnomer. My Zen-practicing friends do not say they meditate. They say they sit. (as in "practice of sitting")
Meditation comes in stages, first you aim to "not think". Then you realize that's not actually possible and have to get past a wall of frustration.
Then you learn to just peacefully keep trying. Thats when you get to start letting go of your pent up mental baggage.
Now that you feel reasonably lighter. You can concentrate more easily and maintain a calm mind while deliberately thinking about specific topics. After you shed that baggage that built up from the last time you meditated.
> When properly meditating, the goal is to not concentrate or think about anything.
I don't understand how have you got this notion about mediation. What you have mentioned can be useful for relieving oneself of thoughts which are a burden.
On the other hand, mediation is to concentrate on a purpose, directing everything towards the purpose, even the thoughts sprouting from your subconsciousness, all which eventually fade away.
I agree. Although "I'll go meditate on that" can also be an expression meaning "I'll think about it". Nothing wrong with that, but it's true it leads to people having a misconception of what meditation is supposed to be.
Your (mis)understanding (that meditation is spacing out and "not thinking") seems to be the common western one. In my experience, this is usually due to misunderstood ideas about practices like dzogchen or philosophical concepts like dependent origination.
Concentration is actually at the _heart_ of meditation and is a key element of the Buddhist noble eight-fold path.
Mindfulness is merely well-concentrated investigation. Once someone has developed an ability to cultivate sustained, one-pointed attention - they can use this attention to clearly investigate internal and external phenomena.
Many Asian schools have the first four Samatha Jhanas (deeply-concentrated states) as strict prerequisites for beginning Vipassana (insight / mindfulness) practice. Others regard "access concentration" as the only prerequisite.
In any case, a well-concentrated mind is required to clearly observe oneself. Yes, other thoughts will drop away as the mind naturally gravitates toward the joy and rapture of mental seclusion (from disturbing, burdensome thoughts and mental states) - but this is a _byproduct_ of concentration, not a fruit of _avoiding_ concentration.
The concentration states (along with the Brahma Viharas) can also be welcome refuges for when reality starts to come apart as one progresses through the Vipassana Nanas.
These things are very clearly spelled out in the canonical Buddhist texts and especially the commentaries[1][2]. Westerners seeking to "change their brains" do so at their peril without proper guidance. Peeling away the layers of delusion can be a destabilizing process for some[3].
Bhante Henepola Gunaratana's book "Mindfulness in Plain English" is a very accessible (and worthwhile) introduction to the subject[4].
As written in another post: I started one month ago and then I was frequently meditating with Headspace (which is awesome btw).
While meditation helped me to go through hard times it never solved the underlying problem. It's like taking painkillers without addressing the real cause. I solved the real underlying problem few days ago and I feel like god again.
If I started programming one month ago and I couldn't yet get a high paying job or have a brand new app that is surging on the App Store, would that be a failure? I have been practicing meditation for 25 years and, even though I was earnest, it took me more than 7 years to achieve a state of perfect tranquility. I still have anxious moments in day-to-day life but I mitigate those with meditation. It's like washing your body to keep it clean.
When you're little, your parents tell you not to touch the stove, that it will hurt, and the words go in your ears and you understand what they mean, sort of. You understand it conceptually. But of course you touch the stove and get burned. After that, having connected the action with suffering through direct experience, you have very little desire to touch the stove again. Those thoughts just don't arise, or don't have much pull.
Buddhists say we're still touching stoves every day because we haven't connected cause and effect through experience. That's the point of this kind of meditation, to gain insight into important facts about reality that we might already conceptually accept, but have not yet experienced. When you experience these things, you are redoing the plumbing in the basement of your mind.
So the point really is to attack the roots of the problem. It's not to relax, it's to understand what is going on.
Just a small note, you don't have to do nothing to practice mindfulness, I do it all the time while driving, walking, or doing anything that I have on "autopilot". All you need to do is be non-reactive; when you experience something (including a spontaneous thought), stop your mind from automatically pulling up associated thoughts and memories.
I find it helpful to remember that the sentient fraction of matter in the universe is vanishingly small, so your ability to experience is truly a blessing. Mindfulness occurs almost by accident if you just focus on savouring your experiences.
Totally agree, especially with the grattitutde aspect for existing. In my experience, getting into 'the zone' while running, hiking or bouldering is what I consider my meditation. Treadmill running doesn't cut it, it's got to be outdoors where my brain is stimulated by all the natural colors, sounds and patterns. It's a far cry from what alot of people think of when they think meditation (sitting quietly doing nothing). When running trails or climbing, its hard to be distracted by other thoughts, and the mind is clear but focused intently on the next step or move. For others curious to try meditation, I recommend trying minimalist running, or any activity which brings you closer to nature and your own body.
I really liked the recent book The Mind Illuminated by John Yates as a basic meditation guide. Goes from the basics to advanced concentration, has detailed practice instructions for each stage, and is grounded in cognitive science with basically zero mysticism in the mix. An earlier short article http://dharmatreasure.org/wp-content/uploads/LightOnMeditati... describes the same 10-stage model the book is about.
None of this really surprises, a lot of what meditation is, is controlling stress and focus. By learning to control those, everything from the different chemicals released in your body to the actual neural structures can change.
My startup is actually working on something very similar called neurofeedback[1]. Which is very similar to meditation, in that we help users better control the subprocess of their mind. It's not perfect, but it actually helps significantly with people with epilepsy manage seizures (by helping them realize when it is going to happen)[2].
Other conditions, specifically ADHD and anxiety have also been shown to be treatable (to a degree) using this treatment[2]. Treatment using neurofeedback for depression has also been shown to be better than placebo[3].
Unfortunately, there is limited research funds to study this, and there really should be more. My startup is gearing up to do trials shortly, hopefully to make this treatment more available.
Even a lower entry: sit down, put five minutes on a timer, start counting your breaths up to ten. one - out, two - in and so one. Once at ten, start from one. The odd breath out functions as a check sum. If five minutes seems easy, try 10.
If you notice you've lost count, it's ok, just start from one.
If you notice you are lost in your thoughts, it's ok, just try to gently move focus back to counting and breathing. Do not "give extra energy on purpose" to thoughts that pop into your mind, just aknowledge them.
This is, IMO, is the core of the meditation routine - training on introspective perception and association of observation of personal thoughts with calmness.
The focusing of breathing is a hack on autonomic nervous system as I understand it. It's the only bodily function that one can control that backfeeds into the brain, and calming the breath can be used to calm the brain as well.
I'm not an expert, I've just read a few books that I've not double checked - if this is somehow wrong please correct me.
There's not one 'proper' way to meditate, but what you're describing is indeed the most basic, no-frills approach, and so far it's been my preferred form.
That said, even most basic teachings add a 'warmup' and 'cooldown' to the breathing part. I've been using the Headspace app and the core template always includes the following:
- sit down comfortably, and use a soft focus on some point in front of you
- breathe in and out a few times, audibly enough that someone sitting next to you would hear it
- close your eyes and focus on the points of the body that connect with the chair/floor/whatever.
- do a 'body scan' from the top of your head to your feet. As you do this, make note of tensions, as well as pleasant sensations, but don't dwell on them.
- this body scan often leads to a more general awareness of how you're feeling physically and/or emotionally. Make note of that too, but once again don't dwell.
- do the 'core part' that you describe
- once you're done with this, basically do the earlier steps in reverse.
- for bonus mindfulness practicing: think of what you want to do next, and practice maintaining the state of mind you're in (focus only on what you do now, rather than constantly being ahead of yourself in your mind)
Personally, I've found the warmup to be crucial to my own meditation, and the cooldown to be very beneficial in 'maintaining' the calmness throughout the day.
I also think guided meditations are very useful for beginners. The best sessions I've found (at any price) are from the UCLA Mindful Awareness Research Center.[1] There's no phone app or payment required. All of their guided meditations are released as MP3 files.
There is much more than meditation, there are many excercises you can do to feel better, to "connect with your soul".
It is a matter of practice, same as for sport. If you go only one time at gym, you will not get so much results.
It would be ideal to meditate twice a day, 20 minutes. If you can move your energy from one chackra to another it is even better. You can also think of chackras as your gland system, it doesn't matter if it sounds crazy for you we have 7 whirls of energy in our (physical) body, if it makes you feel good, it is ok.
In my personal experience I found that meditation is healthy, so I recommend it. However keep in mind that there is much more than meditation, which is just the first step.
these are my daily averages. i have one rule: before I go to bed, I must assume the lotus position on the floor in front of my bed.
2015 was particularly a challenging year for me (startup problems), and it was all i could do to even assume the lotus position for a second. so for much of 2015 i really didn't meditate, which was ironically when i probably needed it the most. such is my life.
it takes around 4 minutes for me to reach what i call stage 1. this is when all the normal chatter in your mind ceases and your breathing is synced (i've also noticed that it takes around 40 breaths, which is roughly 4 min, so sometimes for shits and giggles i just count to 40). after much trial and error i've noticed i don't even need to do anything; it's the mere passage of 4 minutes that gets me to stage 1.
thereafter is when the real effort begins. it is a constant effort to reach what i call stage 2, or what i consider the beginning of true mindfulness, which means you are neither thinking of the past nor the future. i would say i only enter stage 2 at seconds at a time, only to fall out again into stage 1 (usually by an intruding thought, and that thought is usually "oh, i've got it!").
to be honest, i don't know what the effects have been for me. i seriously don't feel any different. anyway, how are we to separate the effects of meditation with the normal process of maturation or aging? am i getting calmer because of meditation or because i am getting older?
i take it on faith. faith in data and science. our personal experience with meditation cannot be the guide with which we measure it's effectiveness, because subjective experience is exactly that. i liken it to flossing. i floss my teeth every day but still have worse gum recession than those who do not. my periodontist and dentist chalk it up to genetics, because that is the best they can conjecture based on the current science. we can measure flossing easily; without a brain scanner in our basement we cannot so measure effects of meditation. so from the research i take it on faith that the effects must be beneficial on my brain.
A lot of what you say resonates with me and my recent experience. I found that when I need meditation the least, it's easy to find time and the process is effortless. When I need to meditate the most, this is when I can't find the time and settling down for even a minute is tough.
I dont know what the long term effects are, but certainly short term effects are striking. Keep on meditating :)
It is very surprising that researchers could measure changes just after three days!
One alarming detail about the article, however is the mention of "dose", which I think reflects the general Western, mainstream attitude to meditation. Mindfulness and meditation is being perceived as a tool of "relaxation", "reducing stress", dealing with anxiety, and so on. And it might be because of being "marketed" as such.
However, although meditation can in fact help you deal with stress and make you more relaxed, reducing it just to "benefits" is missing the point. After all, it is actually "you" who is dealing with stress, being more relaxed, etc.
Meditation is about paying attention to your thoughts without any
judgment, experiencing your immediate thoughts and feelings directly,
facing yourself, gently watching your unpleasant feelings, thoughts,
memories and embracing them with all their both unpleasantness and
pleasant joy. In the end, you get more and more in touch with yourself
and the reality, and become more alert, observant, thoughtful, compassionate, etc.
And that actually makes it a practice of not running away from stress, anxiety, sorrow, but in contrast, facing all that with a gentle attitude.
Finally, it is a constant and long-term practice, not something like a "pill" with "doses" to deal with whatever "symptoms".
Yep its such a western practice to cost-benfit analysis on everything. Ironically it the same thought process that is causing anxiety in the first place. People trying to make more money via meditation just sounds odd.
Pls guys do yourself a favor and listen to JidduK before you embark on meditation
I have/had pretty bad panic disorder. There were times I panicked all night and didn't sleep at all. I also wouldn't leave the house, and ended up at the emergency room a few times. I tried therapy, medication, etc.. Meditation is the only thing that worked. It has really helped me in many other ways, also.
In case no one else has recommended it yet - I highly recommend a 10-day Vipassana meditation course: https://www.dhamma.org
They are free and not affiliated with any religious organization. But be warned - it isn't easy! I like to call it "meditation boot camp." It breaks you down, but you grow and learn from the experience. It really is one thing you can try that can have a significant impact on your life and change its course. It is a unique experience - you can't read or write or speak for 10 days.
There's a lot of false disagreement going on in these threads. It should be noticed that talking about meditation, and the resultant discussions about the uses of meditation, the strange experiences of no-self/universality/etc, the nature of the self-ing mind, et al are all ultimately recursive. At the edges of all of these conversations is self-cancelling language, and if one is to get too hung up on linguistic explanations of these things, one is almost surely going to end up arguing with herself.
Meditation is useful, possibly life transforming, and the techniques and effects are available to most people. Unfortunately, this claim exists in a grey area between/overlapping objectivity and subjectivity, and can only really be tested in the laboratories of our own minds.
It's a little different from other practices, in that it is more "active" (you'll see what I mean) than just sitting there and watching your breath. It takes just 15 minutes once you learn it, and the sense of peace and focus I have after doing it for several months is incredible.
I have been practicing Heartfulness mediation for quite sometime and have got immensely benefitted by it. It offers a simple and practical way to learn relaxation and heart based meditation.
Anyone willing to try can go and check http://en-in.heartfulness.org/experience-heartfulness or try the iOS/Android app.
Meditation brought about some massive changes for me: increased focus, better and more acute introspection; I became way less irritable and my stress levels reduced.
When I don't meditate in the morning I try to make up for it by meditating in the car. One day I was meditating in the car trying to drive mindfully, trying to feel each bump and notice what my body was doing. While I was driving 25 in a 25 zone a toddler wandered out into the street in front of me. I'm glad I was paying attention.
Sam Harris' Waking Up presents a non-woo-woo look at meditation. His background as a neuroscientist really gave the subject the scientific perspective that I appreciate. https://www.samharris.org/waking-up
David Levy, a Stanford computer science PHD that worked at Xerox PARC research for decades before moving to academia is now a thought leader in the field of "Mindful Tech", a different way to interact with technology. I am reading his new book about it and find it valuable.
I don't know how unrelated it is but I found playing polyrythmic percussions (4 limbs involved, doesn't have to be loud) often lead to a zen state. Dealing with many different parallel momentums and abstracting over them as one just massage your brain.
That's interesting! It squares with what I've read in books like Mindfulness in Plain English -- that some desirable mental states are achieved when certain harmful habits of the mind are in abeyance.
I'm not sure I fully parse your message. But I too believe that the mind is an odd loop, where you're own self can focus/amplify different emotions and while it may feel absurd by constantly not trying to think or feel it may help rebalance the whole thing.
Sorry, my impression of how it is said to work is, if you deliberately devote your mental energy to something non-harmful, e.g., strong feelings of compassion for oneself or others, it seems to brown out some or all of the harmful habits, at least to some degree.
Most of the time you can allow to live in negative emotions but under certain circumstances you realize that it will never end and you're just wasting time, better focus on positive emotions. It's not as good a genuine self emergent good emotions though.
I like to meditate on the bus on my way into the office. I have noticed a significant increase in my ability to "get things done" when stressed as well as my ability to take in sights and sounds.
so does walking in nature, poverty, cocaine, testosterone, inactivity, porn, drugs, focus, menstruation, Alzheimer's, cellphones, the Internet, The Knowledge, programming, football...
changing it's structure is how the brain reacts to basically any regular stimulus. Thats how it works.
Also n=35, t=3days seems insufficient to rule out any sort of confounding factors.
When I was in high school, I meditated for the first time for two days and my grades spiked, for I made much less stupid mistakes. After that, the effect of meditation must be maintained regularly. If I didn't meditate for say three days in the last month, the grade bonus vanished quickly.
What I am trying to say is that to someone who has never meditated before, three day meditation may well have a significant impact. However if they do not do it long term, those effects may be temporary.
well that's just what the paper tested for and had a statistically significant result. it's not nearly like 5-year clinical trials, but it's much better than nothing surely.
At least in my case—and I think this isn't so unusual—there is a steep learning curve: for most people there's just not enough reason to stick with it. That said, at this point I can hardly imagine something more worthwhile. After acquiring some facility with it, my everyday experience with life feels more substantial—more 'real.' There's a kind of energy, curiosity, and enthusiasm that now often presents itself which I hadn't seen in a long time—maybe since I was ~22 or so (I'm 30 now). I also feel way less need to do things like smoke/drink, and have a restored sense of smell and taste. If you've felt like the world's turned grey at some point, give it a try.
This is my favorite source of info on the subject—very substantial content, yet light and even entertaining at times: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FEw2mHpVv9A