Not that I dont appreciate the nice comments. I have tried therapy. Several times. When they turned virtual the little humane contact they provided evaporated and I stopped paying for that crap. And dont get me started on trying to talk to a therapist that wears a face mask the entire time.

I am not actively trying to end my life. Just trying to correct the naive suggestions that going to a gym or having a child will make you happy or fullfilled.

Loneliness sites bone deep. The older you get, the harder making meaningful human connections get. And add the past the past 2 years of “keeping us safe and healthy” what used to be my natural coping mechanisms were outright banned.

I tread on. Trust me, from the outside you would not think I was this lonely. I have all the things and the hobbies and the travels. Even athletic enough to sport visible abs, which is not all common at 46 in these parts of the hemisphere.

If I am lucky maybe Ill get shot in a failed robbery or something.

I certainly do not have the courage to physically harm myself.

I appreciate the concern though.

Loneliness has several parts - spiritual, sexual, belonging, tactile, conversational, etc. Some take a lot of work to address, but others might have a straightforward fix:

1. Dancing classes might solve the tactile aspect. Dancing requires a lot of face time during the class, and even more practice time between classes to really get the most out of it. If you're physically fit you might enjoy lindy-hop, for example: https://youtu.be/e62p_K4-Cvc?t=24

2. Likewise contact sports, e.g. martial arts. For example judo and greco-roman wrestling both are tactile. https://youtu.be/PVJoN9MCw_E?t=28

3. Groups sports might help with belonging, esp outdoor sports where masks are not an issue. Beach volleyball, for example. Not the professional type, but the casual one where people drink beer after a game. https://youtu.be/Kx7GlMXVZAM?t=163

4. Conversations are hard to enjoy with a mask, so maybe move to a red state. If your situation is dire, it might require dire measures. I heard North Carolina is great like this - a friend recently moved there for this reason (among many). [no video :)]

Do you feel like any of this is helping? Often times I get a seemingly great advice which I can't follow, so how is this for you?

Is Tinder the right place for somebody in your frame of mind? It's plainly a meat market, not a great place for somebody who's looking for more than something really short and shallow.

Not that I have an alternative, just... really negative on Tinder.

I am not your age, so perhaps don't have your perapective but if money isn't a big worry, do you plan to make any changes? A friend of mine at about your age took a break from his job and enrolled to the community college for courses to be a mechanic. He doesn't want to be one professionally but just wanted to learn. When I went through my divorce in my early 30s, I wanted to be social and did lot of meetups with people my age then, just trying to create more chances to meet new people, was surprised to see many people that were in a similar place in life and wanted similar things as me.

On the longer timeline, do retirement, grand kids, spending your saved up money on things you find interesting then excite you?

This post is a good counter example to all the people in this thread saying "just have kids, that'll solve your problems". It's such an unbelievably narrow view that ignores the complexity of human existence.

It's possible to be happy and content. If you're serious, it's not right. Please consider asking for help.

I'm 45, divorced and am not really that keen to meet people on Tinder/FB Dating etc. Recently I've really enjoyed meeting people through a walking group on FB, there is something happening most weekends when I'm not with my children and it's really reassuring that there are a bunch of people I can meet up with if I have nothing else on, friendships are developing there. Not saying I'm done with relationships, but they aren't a priority.

What is it getting you down, do you have hobbies and aspirations, however small? When I got divorced I made a list of small victories and over a about a year I was able to achieve many of them. Do you have friends you can talk to?

Have you tried professional help?

If you want a friend to talk to, ping me. Please do get the professional help others have suggested.