I feel the same way. I actually do the same thing too. I end up talking with people i used to work with and seeing how much they've grown and their positions. I don't feel like I am bad. I've started my own consulting company and did over $500k in revenue last year, yet I will talk with these developers who are just so much smarter than me and do better than me and i just get crazy jealous about it probably from my competitive nature. I think its just a part of life. Literally just last night I had a real bad depression of what I have done professionally and how though I have a lot in savings and I've started my own company doing consulting work I locked myself in my room all night and started working on my own side project. It's not going to be big, but just to have it done and say that I did it I think would make me happy. In the end I think you just got to find what will make you happy and just go with that.