Thing is, when you feel bullied, why is that? Is it because people are trying to tackle issues that benefit you? Trying to get you to not be certain way simply for the sake/respect of others that are not like you? Is it because theyre being unnecesarily rude?
I can comprehend how someone being rude leaves a bad taste, but it seems to me like most of the time bully is anyone who doesnt agree with you.
For what its worth, I know many people in our (broad) community with views similar to my own that I consider asshole bullies. People seem to turn a blind eye to - or even encourage - all sorts of nastiness from those they like or agree with.
It's uncharitable to assume that the parent's experience stems from his or her own shortcomings.
I upvoted you. I'm not disagreeing with the OP in regards to the bullies. But you find them everywhere, saying they're the turn off for certain ideas while being on the opposite spectrum of the discussion, which also has bullies, doesnt make much sense.
Basically, if what you agree with is decided by who expresses their ideas in a quieter way, you'd probably agree with nothing.
One of the more important parts of Chait's article is that when bullies dominate discourse, you no longer have discourse at all. You get enforced conformity and running games of one-upsmanship.
I'm not suggesting that bullies make ideas poisonous. I'm saying that bullies poison discourse and shut off conversations. They don't so much drive people to other ideas as they do drive people away from engaging entirely.
Especially when they do things like staking out the position that there is no reasonable room for disagreeing with them.
Some people are more bullies than ideologues. One girl I know has scolded me both because I am not manly enough and because I'm not feminist enough.
Fortunately, she hasn't the social status with our mutual friends to make my life miserable.
I can comprehend how someone being rude leaves a bad taste, but it seems to me like most of the time bully is anyone who doesnt agree with you.