I just moved from San Francisco, CA to the Washington, DC area. I'm currently staying at my dad's place in Alexandria, VA.
San Francisco has a very good public transit system, at least compared to any other suburb in which I've lived. In San Francisco, I could be most places I cared to be within 30 minutes. There was literally a bus station outside of my apartment window, and I could catch probably a dozen different bus lines within a six block radius, maybe more. I lived without a car for over 5 years in SF, and it was fine.
Alexandria, VA is different. The closest Metro Station a light rail system, is a 20 minute walk by foot, and it has little to no parking. Pretty much anything I want to do is at least a 20 minute walk away. At the moment I can borrow my dad's car, but if I had to walk, my life would be dominated just by trying to get around. Sure, I can survive without a car in Alexandria, VA, but it'd kind of a pain in the ass.
I can't imagine trying to live in a rural area without a car.
Lest anyone get the impression that DC has terrible public transit (it actually has very good public transit), San Francisco and Alexandria aren't directly comparable. Alexandria is to Washington DC as Berkeley is to San Francisco.
DC is at least as good as San Francisco for living without a car. You're having problems because you're out in the suburbs. Move into DC proper or even to a more accessible suburb like Ballston, Clarendon, Crystal City, etc or even just move a bit closer to old town Alexandria and it's very easy to live without a car.
DC is fine. But "DC" is a tiny part of the "DC area". I grew up in Annandale. A car was necessary. An old friend of mine lives in Alexandria, in Del Ray. He takes the train into DC (which takes him about an hour total, when you add up the walking, waiting and riding). But his family needs a car because his wife works in a school that is not in walking distance, their parents live in Arlington and northwest DC, and most of their kids' activities require driving.
In DC, as in San Francisco, the trains are more for commuters to get into and out of the city. They're not really for connecting within or outside of the city. The NY area is better about that. (But not great.)
If I ever moved back to the area, I would seriously consider Bethesda. Easy access to DC, and a neat town in its own right.
Every city has outlying suburbs and not a single one has excellent transit throughout the entire metropolitan area. The DC metropolitan area has the lowest mode share for private automobiles and the highest mode share for public transportation of any except for NYC. It is objectively the second best city in the US for getting around without a car. It is clearly not as good as NYC but it is certainly not worse than San Francisco.
San Francisco has a very good public transit system, at least compared to any other suburb in which I've lived. In San Francisco, I could be most places I cared to be within 30 minutes. There was literally a bus station outside of my apartment window, and I could catch probably a dozen different bus lines within a six block radius, maybe more. I lived without a car for over 5 years in SF, and it was fine.
Alexandria, VA is different. The closest Metro Station a light rail system, is a 20 minute walk by foot, and it has little to no parking. Pretty much anything I want to do is at least a 20 minute walk away. At the moment I can borrow my dad's car, but if I had to walk, my life would be dominated just by trying to get around. Sure, I can survive without a car in Alexandria, VA, but it'd kind of a pain in the ass.
I can't imagine trying to live in a rural area without a car.