And to this point, the parents must learn to be happy themselves. This is a great challenge for most people, who are often torn between social norms and their own internal forces, and never fully resolve these tensions. A parent with a clear understanding of their own nature can do a lot for a kid.
The great barrier to happiness for a parent of a gifted child is ego and vanity. Some parents become afflicted with inordinate pride in their progeny. "Look at how smart my son is!" they exclaim. The parents' peers, friends, teachers, family, tire of hearing about it. This can alienate the kid from these adults, and even worse the kid's ego can also become inflated. In the end, the parents' pride amplifies what is already a terrible alienating, lonely, and depressing existence when no-one really seems to "get" you.
A corollary to this sin of pride is focusing too much on academic performance and ignoring entirely the importance of social learning. Parents in general, and smart kids in particular, might make the mistake of believing that kids are in school to absorb academic knowledge alone. Yes, it is good to encourage native curiosity and satisfy the demands of a budding intellect. But even more important, I think, is for the child to understand his relationship to his peers. He must discover, essentially, what he wants from other kids and what they want from him, and (importantly) what they want from each other. This process of discovery, I think, should be done quietly, deliberately, and consciously. There is nothing more harmful than telling a kid, "You shouldn't care what other people think." Humans are born caring what other people think, and to deny that is just crazy. A smart kid starting with the right premise will be able to accomplish quite a lot - a smart kid given the wrong initial conditions will end up dejected, miserable, and a failure, all because he got bum information from parents who were just plain wrong.
It may seem counter-intuitive, but I believe that a critical element for happiness in intelligent kids is silence. Silence serves (at least) two purposes - first, and most importantly, it can better connect them to what they really enjoy. Sports, for example, can be enjoyed without words. So can music, and art, and even just the simple act of being around other kids. It frees up the kid to just be, and not to think, to not have to try and justify their value, often agonizingly, to a social group. In a similar way, it shows them that even without a brain, they are an intrinsically important, valuable human being - which not only takes a lot of pressure off, but helps them empathize with those that aren't as smart.
Anyway, just some random thoughts. Thanks for the post. :)
A lot of parents are intimidated by their 'smart' kids, there's absolutely no reason for that. Even the smartest child can learn a wealth of wisdom from the most 'ordinary' (obviously I'm just relating that to IQ) parents. Genius child means high IQ - fast learning ability, not knowledge or wisdom - so school is much less important than loving family values or the wisdom of elders.
"I believe that a critical element for happiness in intelligent kids is silence"
That's just perfect. I never thought of it that way, I'll take this and apply it to the mix! That blew me away, it had never occurred to me and is completely accurate in both an intellectual and emotional context.
And to this point, the parents must learn to be happy themselves. This is a great challenge for most people, who are often torn between social norms and their own internal forces, and never fully resolve these tensions. A parent with a clear understanding of their own nature can do a lot for a kid.
The great barrier to happiness for a parent of a gifted child is ego and vanity. Some parents become afflicted with inordinate pride in their progeny. "Look at how smart my son is!" they exclaim. The parents' peers, friends, teachers, family, tire of hearing about it. This can alienate the kid from these adults, and even worse the kid's ego can also become inflated. In the end, the parents' pride amplifies what is already a terrible alienating, lonely, and depressing existence when no-one really seems to "get" you.
A corollary to this sin of pride is focusing too much on academic performance and ignoring entirely the importance of social learning. Parents in general, and smart kids in particular, might make the mistake of believing that kids are in school to absorb academic knowledge alone. Yes, it is good to encourage native curiosity and satisfy the demands of a budding intellect. But even more important, I think, is for the child to understand his relationship to his peers. He must discover, essentially, what he wants from other kids and what they want from him, and (importantly) what they want from each other. This process of discovery, I think, should be done quietly, deliberately, and consciously. There is nothing more harmful than telling a kid, "You shouldn't care what other people think." Humans are born caring what other people think, and to deny that is just crazy. A smart kid starting with the right premise will be able to accomplish quite a lot - a smart kid given the wrong initial conditions will end up dejected, miserable, and a failure, all because he got bum information from parents who were just plain wrong.
It may seem counter-intuitive, but I believe that a critical element for happiness in intelligent kids is silence. Silence serves (at least) two purposes - first, and most importantly, it can better connect them to what they really enjoy. Sports, for example, can be enjoyed without words. So can music, and art, and even just the simple act of being around other kids. It frees up the kid to just be, and not to think, to not have to try and justify their value, often agonizingly, to a social group. In a similar way, it shows them that even without a brain, they are an intrinsically important, valuable human being - which not only takes a lot of pressure off, but helps them empathize with those that aren't as smart.
Anyway, just some random thoughts. Thanks for the post. :)