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> It doesn't work that way, unfortunately

It works exactly that way.

> To get of fluid to behave that way on the scale of several inches, the fluid would have to be massive (very dense) while simultaneously gravity would have to be reduced.

No, it would just need to be very viscous. Viscosity is literally resistance to flowing, density is not, and a less dense fluid can nevertheless also be more viscous (honey is less dense than saltwater, but saltwater is much less viscous at STP [standard temperature and pressure, 0°C and 1atm], while mercury is significantly more dense than granite but something like 23 orders of magnitude less viscous at STP.)



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