I cam here to say this. If something is going to take you more than 15 minutes to do, it's better to coordinate it with the project maintainers first. If it takes you less than 15 minutes, you didn't invest enough to be bitter if your code isn't accepted.
ad.1: "Every program attempts to expand until it can read mail." :) The argument that the dev doesn't want particular functionality can be perfectly reasonable, and might be a sign that he's even a good one and consciously fights to avoid software bloat...
