I legitimately wish developers of consumer apps would assume I am extremely stupid (and impatient).

I'll grant you your silly hamburger icon, I can memorize that one, if you grant me text icons for everything else, and low latency, and leave your ego and whatever you think you know about customers wanting to memorize 8 different icons for each app they use at the door.

I wish developers of consumer applications wouldn't assume anything about me, and would let me use my computer to my whims of the moment.