Electron can be done well when treated as any other Desktop UI framework. VSCode is probably one of the only examples of that. I think the bad reputation comes from lazy wrappers pushed out to tick the "Desktop app" box, which are the unfortunate majority in my experience.
Well you kind of debunked your own first point: while we theoretically can have very fast and responsive Electron apps, the fact of life is that we don't; they are a vanishing minority.
What "can" be done is kind of irrelevant. What's much more important is what metrics would the default (or lazy as you called it) way of doing things with framework X or Y net. If the defaults are a slow and laggy app then that's what 95% or more of the using apps will be.
I made no point about the state of most Electron apps. What I mean to say is that rather than pivot to a native toolkit, businesses could prioritize improving their use of Electron. These days most of the UI world is focused on web. Using well-established and widely understood tech brings a lot of benefits.
Not to mention that desktop UI development is just unpleasant. I say this as someone who would really prefer that not to be true, it's just that in my search I've been disappointed. You choose between a number of imperfect "cross-platform" frameworks (and deal with their licensing), or maintain native code for several platforms. Creating custom "widgets" often requires you to start at the drawing API level and have a deep understanding of the framework.
I am keeping an eye on Avalonia, though. The tooling wasn't quite there yet when I tried it.
The part where I get frustrated in a similar manners as yours is that while yes businesses could prioritize improving their use of Electron, they never do.
