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They literally have no computer system that can tell them the difference between you and a hedge fund manager, and so an email to IR fairly reliably gets the white glove treatment. I used to send them on behalf of, cliched but accurately, Kansan pensioners to banks, in at least one case justified by “I am a shareholder because my IRA holds SPY, which holds your common. It was therefore with great displeasure that…”

(Obviously one can still email IR without actually owning a share, but I both prefer not lying and also enjoy the aesthetics of capitalism, which are extremely invested—ba dum bum—in seeing someone who owns one share as a shareholder.)

Anyhow: bored person, near top of org chart, with access to escalation group if that exists, who earns six figures and really wants you to come away from the experience satisfied. Exists in almost every publicly traded company in America.






That was a slightly unfortunate choice of example because my groggy Friday-afternoon mind assumed 'Kan-san' was some sort of polite and idiomatic term for 田舎 dwellers and wasted a few minutes trying to figure out what it was short for.

if anyone else was similarly confused: a 'Kansan' is someone from the US state of Kansas.

>They literally have no computer system that can tell them the difference between you and a hedge fund manager, and so an email to IR [...]

The "From" header on the email? It might be possible someone sending from a @gmail.com address is a hedgie, but if they want to announce their affiliation they'll use their company email.




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