I think I'm more cynical. Almost everything stated on the internet will be perceived as antagonistic. At least by some. It's more a representation of the reader's internal state rather than an issue with the question / statement. Unless, of course, the question / statement is overtly antagonistic.
It's definitely not just on the internet, I've been working for years to learn how to not upset people for asking reasonable and genuine questions IRL. It's a real struggle to this day to notice I'm failing to engage in the social ritual correctly and come up with appropriate extra positivity on the spot just so I can be considered a non-antagonist.
I think internalization is important for self improvement, so I admire the way you frame this. Try not to downplay the other part's role, though. They are also making a choice in the exchange.
To be fair, software discussions in particular are absolutely overflowing with snark, reflexive dismissals, and just general one-upmanship. So I can understand people assuming the worst.
