nobody I know gives too much of their real personality at work
i don't believe that. are you claiming that they are all faking it?
i would not want to work in a place where people fake their personality just to fit in.
my experience from working on FOSS projects suggests that the stereotypical behavior we see in some engineers is in fact real. not as exaggerated as people claim, but the signs are there.
more importantly however is that among engineers i feel there is less expectation to conform to some kind of normalized behavior or personality. at best, certain aspects of someones personality don't get an opportunity to show. say for example how someone cares for their family or animals, or volunteers in non-tech areas.
an alternative interpretation of your statement would be that people do not show all of their personality at work, but only those aspects that are relevant for the work. and that is just what is needed. showing someones full personality at work is not what is expected here.
a more negative side of this is that in some places certain aspects of a personality are being actively suppressed. say, calling out problems that hurt the company, or trying to be helpful to others (and possibly hurting your own performance because of it)
> i would not want to work in a place where people fake their personality just to fit in.
You know that statistically some number of the people you work and collaborate productively with, and get along with. They would, if given the option, never interact with you again for the rest of their lives. You know this, right?
I am a boring robot engineer because it’s easy to do. The “how was your weekend” conversations are about tech hobbies because I’m not sharing the occasions I got drunk, took mushrooms and hung out in a pool full of naked people for most of a day.
You know that statistically some number of the people you work and collaborate productively with, and get along with. They would, if given the option, never interact with you again for the rest of their lives. You know this, right?
i don't know that because i don't care. what i care about is that we can get along at work. at that point that is all that matters. chances are that the longer we work together the more we get to know each other and the more we learn to respect each other and the more likely we may enjoy interacting outside of work.
well, actually it is europeans and the rest of the world, because everywhere i have been to, north america, asia and africa, people are friendlier than in europe.
but it can't possibly be true that the whole world except europe is faking being nice. it doesn't make sense. i rather think that people honestly believe that being nice is the right way how to interact with others, and that has absolutely nothing to do with being fake. it is the very thing that allows us to get along. whether i want to hang out with you after work is not a question of getting along or of our personality but one of having common interests or beliefs. and if someone doesn't want to hang out with me ever again, then it's not only because we really do not have any common interests or beliefs but also because that person is likely rather closed minded. (to be clear, not wanting to hang out is not a sign of being closed minded. they may simply have other priorities. not wanting to interact ever again for the rest of their lives however does look quite closed minded to me)
people didn't join linus torvalds to develop the kernel because of his friendly personality or richard stallman for that matter.
for sure, a friendly personality does make that easier, and a hostile one will put of some people for whom the personality does matter more, likely due to their own past experiences.
It's not really faking it, but it is surface level. My coworkers don't really need to know about my childhood trauma, my struggles or my hopes and dreams.
ok, yes, putting it this way does make more sense. reality however is that at least for me, my childhood experience affects how i work. although i acknowledge that this is more about self reflection and not about actually sharing this with anyone at work. but it does deeply affect how i interact with them. for example as a team leader i can become very protective of those under me.
Completely agree, it is very important to reflect on how your experiences shaped you and become self-aware.
You may choose to share some of the deeper reasoning as to why you act one way or another, with certain people under certain circumstances. But it is a choice and not a requirement.
"I tend to be very protective of my team" should be sufficient, especially in an an interview setting
i don't believe that. are you claiming that they are all faking it?
i would not want to work in a place where people fake their personality just to fit in.
my experience from working on FOSS projects suggests that the stereotypical behavior we see in some engineers is in fact real. not as exaggerated as people claim, but the signs are there.
more importantly however is that among engineers i feel there is less expectation to conform to some kind of normalized behavior or personality. at best, certain aspects of someones personality don't get an opportunity to show. say for example how someone cares for their family or animals, or volunteers in non-tech areas.
an alternative interpretation of your statement would be that people do not show all of their personality at work, but only those aspects that are relevant for the work. and that is just what is needed. showing someones full personality at work is not what is expected here.
a more negative side of this is that in some places certain aspects of a personality are being actively suppressed. say, calling out problems that hurt the company, or trying to be helpful to others (and possibly hurting your own performance because of it)