From an optimistic (and even mental health) perspective, externalizing failure and internalizing success - aka "I did the best I could but the situation did not materialize" - is much healthier than internalizing failure and blaming yourself when things go wrong. Externalizing success never gives yourself due credit when things go right, and internalizing failure always blames yourself when things go poorly. See the problem?
This is not to say one should have an inflated sense of value or "don't learn from your mistakes", but it is much healthier to optimistically look at failure as not a personal thing, but something external.
People who have succeeded and are confident in themselves are never afraid to look back and admit that a little bit of luck (and opportunity) was part of the equation. But by no means will they discredit their own personal influence and attribute the entire success to something external.
I recall a psych study on this. They found that people who externalize failure and internalize success are happier, but those who internalize failure and externalize success are more successful. And yeah, they did find the corollary that more successful people tend to be less happy. Makes perfect sense really.
I could understand that study. When one roots their personal value in something external, like a measure of success, they spend their whole life working ridiculously hard and sacrificing everything to validate themselves based on the measuring stick of that externality.
The only problem is the measuring stick always keeps growing taller. So what is "success" to that specific individual when they can't enjoy it or even recognize it as "good enough"? Others will tell them they're an amazing success, but they'll never believe it was enough of a success. That definition of being more successful is based on the others' perception.
Not only that, but you'll notice the study did not say internalizing success means you'll be less successful. It's possible to be content by valuing yourself in foundational principles like "hard work, integrity" etc. and through that achieve both success and happiness.
I'd be interested to see that psych study, but it does seem pretty common sense, though. The more you value an outcome in life the more you'll spend your life chasing it - and the higher probability you'll reach it.
This is not to say one should have an inflated sense of value or "don't learn from your mistakes", but it is much healthier to optimistically look at failure as not a personal thing, but something external.
People who have succeeded and are confident in themselves are never afraid to look back and admit that a little bit of luck (and opportunity) was part of the equation. But by no means will they discredit their own personal influence and attribute the entire success to something external.