A few years ago I realized that getting older (40+) means having to slowly see almost every symbol you've grown up with becoming completely obsolete and/or dying. It filled me with dread thinking about Chuck Norris, Arnold, Stallone, etc.
Seeing the memory of Friends taking hits, first with James Michael Tyler and now with Matthew, is very hard.
Even sadder is his fate was probably sealed because he was alone. It was probably a cardiac event that disabled him in the hot tub / pool and he drowned. Could've been unrecoverable anyway but being alone is making pretty sure it is.
Same age bracket here, but ... it's just not affecting me that much. Admittedly I didn't really watch Friends, though I was squarely in the age demographic and was aware of him. And, to be clear, I am deeply, deeply sorry for his friends and family, especially after having seen him go through so much in life.
But this one isn't filling me with existential dread and I don't know why. I keep ping-ponging between "We got started early with the gut punch of Christa McAuliffe, Ron McNair and the rest of the Challenger crew, then Kurt Cobain then River Phoenix then..." and "I guess I'm old now and this is just normal." There's even an argument that, my goodness, how on earth did he make it so far? And I am not being flippant: Perry lived an absolutely hellish life in too many ways.
I have no idea what his cause of death was, but ... I just hope people get help when they need it.
Did none of the deaths of the last decade or two have an impact? Honest Q.
I found that the deaths of Hunter S Thompson, David Bowie, and Sinead O'Conner put me a bit on my heels. Some of the others had some kind of impact. And many of the others.. nothing. But at least those three, and maybe a couple of others, definitely threw me a bit.
So that's the Q. Anything..? Nothing? If nothing, I'd personally find that possibly worth investigating. And I'm not big on para-social celebrity/artist relationships. But a few landed for me.
I have had teenage classmates, beloved pets, sibling, parent, all my grandparents, and close friends die. These have been varying degrees of devastating for me, for a while at least. Some for a long time (my sibling dying young was so, so hard).
Celebrities/artists/all-around-famous-people dying rarely affects me. Prince, maybe? But that was possibly because I like his music so much and probably grieved the loss of more music than the person whom I never met.
Knowing about kids dying in war and from gun violence and domestic abuse and such probably hits me harder than hearing about any random celebrity dying.
Oh MANY deaths were hard. Justice Ginsburg absolutely obliterated me (and, respectfully, others may have a different reaction and I understand that). But I haven't really experienced the "I'm old now and watching my heroes die" reaction. Does that make sense?
Limited just to entertainment industry celebrities, I will admit I don't have a strong emotional reaction to ... most of them (other than the general empathetic sadness on behalf of a vibrant human's friends and family) ... but I don't think it's indicative of anything worrying.
I agree, I find it hard to get too emotional about celebrities, even though I may have had great respect and admiration for them. For example, David Bowie, I was a little sad and disappointed to lose a great figure, but we all have to die.
For some reason Sinead O'Connor was an exception to this, and I did feel quite emotional at her passing.
It sounds like the phenomenon of getting affected by the death of some particular celebrity is very subjective.
For me there was a small “but he was young…” with Matthew Perry, but also an “oh well…”.
I frequently talk with my 84-year old neighbours. One lost her husband a year ago, the other one’s wife has dementia. They themselves are sharp as ever, but their whole world is a museum of memories. They have grand children, but everyone they knew is dead. They like company, but one said there’s something special about same-aged people, they share things with.
I don’t know when the death of a celebrity will hit me, but it’s probably when someone younger than me dies of non-accidental causes.
Thanks! This cheered me up. Hadn't seen the Chuck Norris meme in a while. Not sure if it died out or I just don't hang out at the right places on the Web anymore?
On the other hand, the characters they portray stay frozen in time while you age. The first time I realised I was older than all the Friends felt strange. Now I'm older than Fraiser. In a way, advancing age allows us to surpass the characters we idolise, which at least for me, has a positive effect on self esteem.
My grandmother offed herself when she reached that point at 97: all her friends were gone and she was in a housing complex for old people (whom she couldn't stand).
Which is why I don't understand the reason behind living in suburban areas where houses are far away from each other. If anything happens to a neighbor, others would probably never find out, and it takes a long time for ambulance to get there.
On a side note, I wonder if Apple Watch can detect this kind of events and report that to 911 immediately. Even better, can Apple Watch "predict" such fatal events based on data of millions of users who've had similar incidents?
Edit: Maybe the downvoters can say their counter-argument?
I've lived in both suburban and urban (current) situations.
In my personal experience, I always felt for more supported and a much bigger sense of community in suburban areas. Most suburban streets I've lived on, even when they weren't in the best neighborhoods, I felt comfortable asking anyone on the block for any kind of help. I do not feel the same way in my current apartment building. We have one neighbor who refuses to walk their 120 pb German Shepard on a leash which has already attacked me and my dogs.
Our dog has actually been attacked by another dog outside on the street and that was more straightforward.
In this situation it happened inside our building, so the city won't do anything and says we need to work with our landlord. Our landlord isn't doing anything despite our repeated asks. The neighbor in question has multiple evictions previously, etc. There just isn't much more we can do unfortunately
I didn't downvote but why do you think the situation would be any different if something happened to you in an urban apartment? In any case, it's way down the list of reasons why I'd choose some specific type of location to live in.
ADDED: I'd add that the downvotes are probably mostly from people who are tired about being lectured to about how they should be living in cities.
I work in emergency services. Your argument works for rural areas that are far, far apart. I do timings for station to suburban homes and the like, regularly. You're just not correct on this at all.
The best hospitals in my town's metropolitan area are _inside_ the city, not in the suburbs. Maybe there are some good ones where you live, but ambulance timing is not the only factor—the quality of service is just as important.
I’m curious what you think the ED outcome difference is between the best hospital in your city, and any random suburban one, for generally common emergencies.
Regarding the downvotes (none from me, I'll respond generally if it seems at all useful)...
First, this is, I'd say, rather off-topic ... and may seem impolite. It's along the lines of "hey, did you hear so-and-so died?" ... and someone launches into some thought that is not remotely specific to the person who died.
Second, your comment suggests you didn't even bother to 'look at the data'. 'Common sense' basically = 'alchemy', both of which are bollocks.
Now, in fairness, I'll write - among the 'letters' associated with my name, there are not only ... 'credentials', but also, everybody's favorite source of unceasing internal entertainment: attention deficit hyperspace dysplasia. You know, good ol' ADHD. So, I get it ... this may be along those lines, and even people without 'clinical-level' ADHD can have any of the relevant traits at various levels. But still, best to consider certain events like deaths - that many take very seriously - in that light, I'd suggest.
There are almost always people who experience significant sorrow and related emotions at such times. Even not knowing Mr Perry, nor being any particular fan - he had friends, family, and beyond ... all who are now hearing of his rather untimely passing.
> First, this is, I'd say, rather off-topic ... and may seem impolite. It's along the lines of "hey, did you hear so-and-so died?" ... and someone launches into some thought that is not remotely specific to the person who died.
I can see why you'd think that way, but please notice that I'm the OP of the post and have been shocked by the news... The show played a huge role in my life and I wouldn't want to draw attention away from the main topic.
> Second, your comment suggests you didn't even bother to 'look at the data'. 'Common sense' basically = 'alchemy', both of which are bollocks.
Oh, I don't know about that. I mean, actually caring about other people in such a general sense suggests a sort of strong / true character in a person.
OTOH, commenting about your 'pity' in sardonic language, dripping with so much disdain and so many loaded words / phrases that what should be SUBTEXT is all anyone 'hears' - clearly indicating that all you're doing is signaling a preference and not anything like, say, empathy - well, that's about the opposite.
Mowing a lawn is fun, light exercise :) it’s very meditative, especially with some good ear protection and an emission free, electric mower. Beats sitting around on a couch in an apartment.
Which is more environmental and actually useful unlike that fuzz you have to keep wasting energy on or get fined for letting nature grow in your own home.
Beautiful, isn't it? I bet you don't even visit once a month. I bet you think it's boring when you're there. Probably busy, too.
I have it every time I step outside. Fresh air, birds singing, flowers and bees. Last week I held a tiny bird in my hands as we walked among the gardens and trees, until it regathered its strength and flew off.
I suppose I must be missing the appeal of living in a box above a kebab shop with a roommate who barely speaks English.
I have a fantasy where I live above a kebab shop and come to an arrangement where I lower a box containing money on a piece of string, he puts a pre-agreed kebab and chips in the box and gives the string two tugs.
Here's the counter-argument: Your opinion is pretty much blaming him for the cardiac arrest. He lived alone in a suburb because he valued the privacy and no one ever plans for a heart attack unless you're 70+. Also your solution of having a smart watch track and collect your heart activity and send it to a remote server is pretty concerning too.
It's that awkward time when it really dawns on you that mortality is really a thing. Prior to that you feel very far removed from it, so it isn't much concern.
If there's someone available in the near vicinity... Average survival rate starts around 90%, then drops about 3.3 percentage points per 10 minutes until the blockage is fixed. The worst kind of infarction, total blockage of the left anterior descending artery, has a 10% survival rate.
I think he must have lived near me in Silver Lake. I occasionally saw him when we were both out for a run. After a while he recognized me, and he'd smile and wave. The hill was steep, and I remember him struggling, but the way he smiled, he clearly had a sense of humor about it. I could see he was determined. Although I never talked to him, from our very limited interaction he seemed like a nice guy. This news makes me sad. RIP.
Such a shame. I read his autobiography last year and the things he went through because of addiction were horrifying. Incredible that he was struggling so much yet still able to portray such an iconic character.
I don't wonder about that, I'm sure of it. Imagine being hassled by strangers wherever you go. Paparazzi. Never being able to go to normal places without a bodyguard. Everyone wants selfies with you.
It would be very hard to live your life without feeling like you are performing constantly. It's no wonder so many famous people struggle with addiction.
The money's mostly nice. And I'm sure it's hard to totally tune out what comes from people being fans in entertainment/sports/really lots of things.
But I have to believe most people who are really on the celebrity circuit still find the negative aspects you mention tiresome even if you can tune some of it out with money.
Well I wouldn't turn down being rich but not famous. But on balance, I think it worth giving up a hell of a lot of money in exchange for being able to live a "normal" life.
I like this article from Tim Ferriss on fame. A pretty fair accounting of it with the takeaway that what most people really want is money, without fame.
People often question folks who leave the famous life behind to protect themselves, Lauren Hill, Dave Chappell, Seinfeld, etc. I think it makes perfect sense.
Anthony Jeselnik told my favorite joke ever about a celebrity's death. MCA of the Beastie Boys died and he said, "MCA died? Damn, I didn't even know he was ill."
It was edgy, but it was fucking funny and also recognized the man's work. It came from a place of love.
In contrast, I don't even know what your words are. It's possible to be funny when talking about someone's death. What you've done doesn't even come close to that. If it's a poorly timed criticism of Perry, it's not clear what that even is. Is the commentary that money keeps people from being depressed? That Perry was taking money for doing some bad to the world? Who knows.
That's sad, I remember watching the Friends reunion episode and Matthew Perry saying things like "nobody calls me any more". You could tell he was sad about people not keeping in touch with him, but I guess addiction is hard for both you and those around you.
Found unresponsive in his hot tub. That's sad. He was very funny and charismatic in his acting roles, and it was not that long ago he was giving interviews about his life, post sobriety. 11 months ago: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0oZuK0ri7Y8
One of the best physical comedy actors of this age. His character and acting in "The Whole 9 Yards" was just great. I crack up every time he hits that sliding glass door.
Friends was already successful in syndication, of course, but on Netflix it gained new life among young people. A new generation of young women got invested in the Ross-Rachel relationship and Jennifer Aniston became their role model, just as she had been to their mothers and older sisters two decades earlier.
This is the best episode in the series hands down.
The premise is entirely self contained and easy to understand, the joke density is unparalleled (like that off-screen one about Ross’s dinosaur watch not working), the characters are interacting with each other in their purest forms, and the physical humor, especially Joey jumping into the chair, is so well timed.
Perry would look very, very different on Friends between the last episode of a season and the first episode of the next, because he would go through rehab. Especially noticeable when watching reruns when the episodes are connected with a cliffhanger.
In one of his recent interviews for his book tour he talked about how could not now watch Friends because, based on how looked in the particular season, he would immediately remember what drug he was struggling with - pills, cocaine, or alcohol.
That's horrible to hear. Reminds me of Stephen King. From Wikipedia:
>Stephen King discusses Cujo in On Writing, referring to it as a novel he "barely remembers writing at all." King wrote the book during the height of his struggle with alcohol addiction. King goes on to say he likes the book and wishes he could remember enjoying the good parts as he put them on the page.
I imagine that Perry probably could not remember filming many episodes/scenes.
Yeah. It's more like get help if you need it, sooner rather than later. Whether that help is for substance or food, constant excess will add up and move up your end date, often significantly.
Rehab is an industry, if you have money there is a lot of high end places which are basically luxurious hotels with loads additional staff monitoring you 24×7 .
It would be quite easy to spend even 50M on rehab , if you are going to have celebrity speakers[1] coming and doing motivational sessions etc on top of very luxurious stay that can be thousands of dollars a day .
[1] for a celebrity addict, it may even have a lot value, few people can understand how fame affects someone thab a another celebrity who became say sober after a tough struggle.
To be fair rehab is it’s own unique monster often outside of the healthcare system. I’m sure someone of his means wasn’t going to insurance funded rehab. There are tons of boutique rehab options that will gladly take 50,000, 100,000, 500,000 for a stint that includes all sorts of “luxury” accommodations like massage, chef/catering, fancy private rooms, on site security, etc. some of these place will also take your insurance for the base rehab program but then you can pay thousands to add on the luxury stuff as well. It’s a fringe part of the medical system that doesn’t apply to 99% of people
Don’t get me wrong rehab is a costly endeavor regardless but rich actors spending millions on rehab is often because they’re doing it in style. They aren’t going to recovery centers of America, eating Sysco hospital food, and sharing a room with a 22 year old heroin addict that steals car stereos whose family is giving them one last chance. That 22 year old will still end up paying a lot but not as much as you’d think for 28 day inpatient residential. It’s often like 20-40k which is for sure a lot of money but when you think of taking care of a human being for a month, monitoring them, feeding them, housing them, providing them counseling (usually multiple types), nursing and admin support, etc. it’s especially crazy when a single mri can take that number in a 40 minute scan.
Relative to your particular bubble - I'm Australian, I've travelled to about two thirds of the 190+ countries on the planet thanks to a career in global scale geophysics and mapping and I've yet to see a single episode of Friends .. I doubt I'd recognise Mathew Perry from a photo array.
I'm not especially unique in the circles I know either, I swap a lot of TV episodes with others who have home entertainment NAS systems and it's not a series that gets much discussion - it has its fans, sure .. but its not the kind of thing that broadly hits the "must watch" lists.
The real question is of the non tech purely "cultural milestone" stories that make HN front page how many are USofA-centric.
My gut feeling is the vast majority, with a small tail of UK, other European countries, rarely Australian, and far less often "elsewhere".
There's no surprise there, HN is a US based website with a founding crowd interested in US startup funding and interests rippling outwards.
By way of example, there are many Indian coders here .. can you name the last HN front page story about an Indian "Cultural Milestone" (there has been a few). I'd assert that these are relatively rare in the non tech cultural milestone HN front page spectrum.
HN had a big memorial thread when Monty Python's Terry Jones died, but kept deleting/flagging anything similar for Kobe Bryant at the same time. Its logic around this is not consistent.
It makes more sense when you see the results of the demographic poll of the HN audience....
I can't find the link to the poll now, maybe someone will post it, but my takeaway was that the HN audience is 90%+ white sys male. I'd expect tending toward the higher income also, but the poll didn't include that info.
His death, while tragic is unfortunately not surprising. Apparently he had massive addiction issues for a long time now. In 2019 he was in a coma from ruptured colon caused by opioid abuse and the doctors gave him 2% chance of making it, so he was living on borrowed time.
He was my favorite, and all respect to how others are feeling (edit: including of course OP, you've really done nothing wrong), but I wish I would not have learned this here. Here is the /r/television thread https://www.reddit.com/r/television/comments/17iqvfk/friends...
Did the Trump era actually revive readership/participation? Fark had been shrinking for years thanks to Reddit (just like most other online discussion sites), and Drew and his lackeys going full SJW regarding Trump was the last straw regarding its health as an ongoing business. Basically what happened to MetaFilter several years earlier.
I haven't participated in Fark (or MeFi) for years, but still subscribe to Fark's breaking news alerts for the headlines it produces, including this one.
Seeing the memory of Friends taking hits, first with James Michael Tyler and now with Matthew, is very hard.
Even sadder is his fate was probably sealed because he was alone. It was probably a cardiac event that disabled him in the hot tub / pool and he drowned. Could've been unrecoverable anyway but being alone is making pretty sure it is.