A vast majority of kidnappings are done by family members. It's a movie thing that a ski mask vigilante enters your home to kidnap you. I'm almost 100% positive there's virtually no risk of being kidnapped at home by ski-mask wearing criminals that staked your house previously.

Or, if you are in that specific, very small target group for e.g. ransom etc, you probably should've been investing in home security beyond a front door camera anyways.

> Or, if you are in that specific, very small target group for e.g. ransom etc,

I am, as are many thousands of other people, in different fields. Although some of my personal circumstances contribute to my risk being especially high, even within these fields.

> you probably should've been investing in home security beyond a front door camera anyways.

I have, to an extent that has been called unreasonable by multiple "normal" people, and these people are not even aware of 90% of the security measures I've taken, including the best ones. Fortunately, my closest family has always been highly supportive in this endeavor.

And these measures are not even half of the recommendations I've been given by security professionals who have scrutinized my life with a fine-toothed comb. Some of these recommendations I've chosen not to take due to not being too adapted to my personal circumstances and lifestyle, but others were amazingly good, far beyond what I expected.

That said, the camera issue, gun restrictions, and strict self-defense laws in Europe are huge limitations that all contribute to vastly decreased personal security for me and my family. And I've been advised by experts in this area, so it's not like I'm setting an unreasonably high standard. I'm also generally anti-guns, but alas, in some cases their benefits outweigh their disadvantages (otherwise police wouldn't carry them) and I think gun laws in Europe don't contemplate this type of situation very well.

It's also a fallacy to think that there is any single set of measures that will protect you. It's not like you can just hire a bodyguard and suddenly you are safe, in fact this can make things even worse in some circumstances.

Physical security can be as much about being careful, having plans in place, keeping a low profile and adding security layers / friction / risk / deterrents as other forms of security such as infosec. In fact, infosec is also a part of physical security nowadays, as well as other similar measures.

But of course, you can't just add every possible security measure, either due to cost or friction / unpleasantness. As an example, almost nobody would like to literally live in a bunker, if you know what I mean.

Also, don't forget to consider that even when you have great home security, it can be very, very easy to bypass it. Even very famous celebrities with great security teams have been kidnapped in modern times, although many of these cases are unknown to the general public. You'd probably be surprised! And that's only the cases that have been made public, most of them are probably not even made public.

Furthermore, your closest family members may not be able to be as vigilant as you, for many different reasons. And it's not even possible to be 100% vigilant all the time, it's extremely easy to get complacent over the years or make mistakes that decrease your security.

To add to all that, attackers have a huge asymmetric advantage during an attack, as they have the surprise element.

"gun restrictions, and strict self-defense laws in Europe are huge limitations that all contribute to vastly decreased personal security for me and my family"

Even in germany it is quite easy to legally own a gun. All you have to do is be a member of a Schützenverein ("shooting club") for some time.

What is indeed very hard, is get permission to carry a gun with you.

But your main point seems to have been about home security and having a gun in your home is very possible. Unless you live somewhere with tighter gun laws than germany?

(Also most abductions for ransom happen outside, easier to snatch someone from the road, than come into his home)

"To add to all that, attackers have a huge asymmetric advantage during an attack, as they have the surprise element."

But you can also surprise them with security, they were not aware of and after that initial attack advantage, time is on your side. (Emergency call and panic room).

"It's not like you can just hire a bodyguard and suddenly you are safe, in fact this can make things even worse in some circumstances."

Yeah, because a common bodyguard mainly creates visibility. And the best defense is to not let the attacker know you exist as a target. But there are security guards, that are not visible to the bystander.

And all in all I have to say, that you do sound quite paranoid. And I cannot think of too many professions, where that paranoia in europe is warranted and where you do not have professional security assigned to you, or where you do in fact get permission to carry a weapon. If the walls you build around you are too tight, you eventually just build your own prison.

> But your main point seems to have been about home security and having a gun in your home is very possible. Unless you live somewhere with tighter gun laws than germany?

No, you are completely right, I had forgotten about that possibility!

Indeed, my main worry with gun laws in Europe is about home security, where the advantages can outweigh the drawbacks if you have a high risk profile, not about carrying them in public which I think could lead to other problems.

The hunting guns are much better than nothing, that's for sure!

> (Also most abductions for ransom happen outside, easier to snatch someone from the road, than come into his home)

From my experience (i.e. the many cases I'm familiar with, not that I've been a victim), this is not true, although I'm also familiar with cases like you describe.

But perhaps I'm simply not familiar with the cases that you know about, or about general statistics. I'm more familiar about cases similar to my risk profile.

> But you can also surprise them with security, they were not aware of and after that initial attack advantage, time is on your side. (Emergency call and panic room).

There are scenarios of home invasion for kidnapping purposes that I'm familiar with, which have really happened in Europe not too long ago, and which are impossible to defend against without extreme measures or very significant lifestyle changes, even taking into account what you just mentioned (which I'm obviously familiar with) but I really don't feel comfortable sharing more information.

> Yeah, because a common bodyguard mainly creates visibility.

Indeed, but even ignoring that (and the cost which is usually not a problem in these circumstances) there can also be quite a few more drawbacks that you didn't mention, but again, I don't really want to get into it.

> And the best defense is to not let the attacker know you exist as a target.

Not always possible, but completely agreed in-so-far as you can achieve that as much as possible!

I consider this to be one of the most important goals, assuming you are not a famous person already.

But even then, over the years there have been literally dozens of people who have become familiar with the riskiest part of my situation due to things that are completely outside my control, like different types of legislation which actually force me to disclose the most critical parts of my personal information to dozens of strangers for different (although usually similar) reasons.

Several databases also contain this critical information.

These strangers I mentioned are unlikely to lead to problems themselves, but information can travel easily or be leaked, and it's still an increase in risk.

> And all in all I have to say, that you do sound quite paranoid.

Yes, I'm 100% aware of that :) Don't think I haven't been told this by many people who are not entirely familiar with my situation.

That said, all of the people who have been aware of the details of my situation have shared exactly the same worries as me, and this includes people who have motivation to tell me the harsh truth rather than simply humoring me.

But of course, I try to share all of my details with as few people as possible, for obvious reasons.

In these kind of high-risk stakes, I make sure to really seek honest feedback rather than confirming my biases, because I just want to get the most useful information to make the best decisions I can, accepting that I can be very ignorant about things which I knew almost nothing about (like physical/personal security). The professionals who have assessed my situation have been really clear about all the stupid, unrealistic worries that I had, as well as all the things that I should be really worried about. They have also provided me with a numerical estimate of my personal risk (hopefully much less biased than my perceptions), along with justifications.

Yeah, I know I may be unreasonably paranoid, but on the other hand, are you really paranoid if they are really out to get you? lol!

> And I cannot think of too many professions, where that paranoia in europe is warranted and where you do not have professional security assigned to you, or where you do in fact get permission to carry a weapon.

Indeed, but there are many drawbacks to the solutions you are proposing and not many benefits in my particular situation, although I admit my situation is unusual. But really, I am already sharing more than I am comfortable with.

> If the walls you build around you are too tight, you eventually just build your own prison.

Indeed! That's why you need a good balance and accept some risk, because it's simply not possible to completely avoid it. But since I could afford to, I couldn't help but to take the most reasonable and "lowest hanging fruit" steps I could take to protect my family, under the circumstances.

Imagine not caring very much and then something really bad happens to your child or spouse, how would you feel?

Now, I can at least say that I did put a lot of effort into it, so even if something bad happens, it will be much, much easier for me to accept that the circumstances were simply outside my control.

This actually touches on something I was told by the security professionals I mentioned: some (although very few) of the security measures we've decided to take don't actually provide a meaningful amount of security, but even a tiny incremental improvement disproportionately contributed to us becoming more worry-free / experiencing greater piece of mind and being happier (but of course, this only works if it doesn't continuously affect your quality of life).

And the other thing to mention is that no matter what you do, some things are simply outside your control, so there's no point in obsessing over them, it's just something you have to accept. I think we have been extremely good in this area.

So I am happy to report that after the initial effort was finished (which lasted a few months), we have been able to live with a lot less worries and almost no decrease in quality of life for quite a few years already :)

""Yeah, because a common bodyguard mainly creates visibility."

Indeed, but even ignoring that (and the cost which is usually not a problem in these circumstances) there can also be quite a few more drawbacks that you didn't mention, but again, I don't really want to get into it."

I actually worked a bit in security and so I can tell that some of the other disadvantages are, that most security guys are treated badly, get very lowly paid and their morals are low - so their motivation to potentially sell you out (or not wake up when you need them) is actually quite high. Some high profile companies might be different, but I know I would not trust a common security company with anything (And the company that I worked for had a good reputation and was involved with securing government buildings, but I was a bit shocked to look behind the facade, it all only works, because most criminals are unprofessional as well)

Otherwise you do sound reasonable that you take the appropriate steps, but like you said, it is all about the right balance and yes, you have to accept some risk in life.

But of course, now I am really curious about your risk profile. Seems to be quite an unusual one.. but I can understand, that you don't want to share details. Because unlike often cited here, Security through obscurity is a real thing.

edit: but I have to relativate about the security guys I worked with: some of them were quite bad, but probably none of them would have actually ignored when a child was in danger, or activly helped an attacker for money. They just didn't give a shit in general, so maybe would miss the alarm. And miss doing maintainance in alarm systems etc. And not follow safety protocols (in theory there were actually too many of them, but even the simple and useful ones got ignored)

CCTV's only purpose for home security is for possible intruder to see it and decide to not intrude. If they come in and you get them in vidi then what? Who will you show it to? Police? What are they going to do?

> CCTV's only purpose for home security is for possible intruder to see it and decide to not intrude. If they come in and you get them in vidi then what?

If your CCTV can only film inside your house, it will not be able to record the identity of a sophisticated attacker.

> If they come in and you get them in vidi then what? Who will you show it to? Police? What are they going to do?

If you are able to record their identity (this is much more likely if you can film outside your house, within an area they would use to stake it), then there are several advantages:

1. Even if you are kidnapped or your house is robbed, it is more likely that the attacker's identity will be recognized, either during this attack, before another attack or even after they are caught in another attack, which would help to increase their sentences.

The chance this will help stop the current attack is minor, although not impossible if law enforcement acts in an expertly fashion (huge "if", I know).

2. For the same reasons above, it is also a huge deterrent, as it greatly increases the risk of the attack (for the attackers, of course), so it also helps to prevent you from being attacked.

3. Furthermore, it shows that you have taken security measures and therefore will increase the chance that the attackers will choose an easier target rather than you.