If you want shrewd methods, and hacks, it boils down to this too. Be interested, not interesting. Debate, but in a way that you want to know more and not to impress.
The next level is love. My favorite definition of love is unequivocal and unconditional commitment to the welfare of another. There's three difficult words there: unequivocal, unconditional, and commitment. Most people can't do that.
A lot of it is about yourself too. Handle your traumas. Unconditional commitment is the most abused thing in the world. But until you can get there, you can't really love. That's why many keep pets, because pets can't exploit that love.
Almost no one can do that, or should do that. Your mother loves you, sometimes your father. If you are a good parent your kids will love you. But don't be silly, your romantic partner rarely loves you the same way.
If you are a constant burden to your romantic partner, they should move on. They will move on. And so should you if you find yourself in the same position.
Advice for OP. Don't demand that people fall in love with you. And by the definitions of the post above me, be careful to falling in love. You don't want to live for someone else, live for yourself. Don't demand others to live for you. Make yourself happy and make others happy.
"Falling in love" is a feeling, much more akin to infatuation.
However, love is willing the good of the other as other and doing something to effect that. That's why traditional wedding vows aren't about "I will always feel this way about you" and instead "regardless of what life throws at us or my feelings, I will commit everything to this relationship". And it's done in front of something greater than either of you (e.g. God) and in front of your community.
When both parties do this, you end with a very healthy base for a marriage. If the base for your marriage is commitment to positive feelings, then it will fall apart.
If you want shrewd methods, and hacks, it boils down to this too. Be interested, not interesting. Debate, but in a way that you want to know more and not to impress.
The next level is love. My favorite definition of love is unequivocal and unconditional commitment to the welfare of another. There's three difficult words there: unequivocal, unconditional, and commitment. Most people can't do that.
A lot of it is about yourself too. Handle your traumas. Unconditional commitment is the most abused thing in the world. But until you can get there, you can't really love. That's why many keep pets, because pets can't exploit that love.