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The best part is you can. Not saying it’s easy (and certainly far easier for some people than others), but how you react to events is one of the very few things that’s actually under your control.

Some of the most useful self-work I’ve done, for sure.




Something really useful that I learned was just to delay my responses to surprises. I did this to stop getting angry at things that I misunderstood, by giving myself more time to think about what was being said, but I found it is useful for all sorts of things.


Meditation helps with this. Practicing to notice feelings, accept them and giving them space lets you stay calm and do the same outside of meditation.


Could you expand a bit on what the self-work entailed?


All sorts of things. Therapy. Psilocibin. A girlfriend (now wife) with a wildly different worldview than my own. Retreats. Meditation. ‘Conscious community”. Workshops. Yoga.


Stoicism in a nutshell




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