Hey bud! Similar boat; ~38 year olds, totally dead end job working in spec. ed. for the past 4 years, living on a dead end salary, in a dead end relationship. Barely can motivate myself to do anything with the kids in the classroom… man, I even wasted like, 9 years substitute teaching. been like this since 2009 when I graduated with my b.Ed. Totally messed up my undergrad in math. Can’t focus, procrastinate, etc.
When you wrote “Every night I promise myself to do/be better tomorrow and somehow get myself to sleep”, I almost cried. Same here bud. I keep looking to therapy but somehow I’ve never pulled the trigger… I’ve tried it in the past, got on some meds, only ended up with a case of ED and just feeling numb. Meds have sucked a lot.
Hopefully someone in the replies has some ideas. I like reading comments on HN. Always seems like people have insightful things to say even though I don’t understand half the things being said.
Anyway, I hope you find your solution. Sending you loving vibes as best I can.
When you wrote “Every night I promise myself to do/be better tomorrow and somehow get myself to sleep”, I almost cried. Same here bud. I keep looking to therapy but somehow I’ve never pulled the trigger… I’ve tried it in the past, got on some meds, only ended up with a case of ED and just feeling numb. Meds have sucked a lot.
Hopefully someone in the replies has some ideas. I like reading comments on HN. Always seems like people have insightful things to say even though I don’t understand half the things being said.
Anyway, I hope you find your solution. Sending you loving vibes as best I can.