Trust your gut feeling. Also ask yourself would you otherwise be friends with this person? Do they truly value you for you? Do you feel emotionally safe with them? Do your friends like the person. If you have a good relationship with your family otherwise, do they like your partner? If things seem off, they probably are. Also find a therapist and discuss things with them. They will be able to tell you if things are healthy or not.

The classic symptoms are alienating you from your friends and family. Negging or putting you down... even subtle jabs. They make arguments personal as an attack on your character and identity or suggest you are attacking their character. Deep down it is all about control and fear. Usually this person will have more narcissistic traits, see everything as a reflection of them and their needs. You are just a tool to meet their needs rather than an individual human.

For folks who have been in traumatic relationships and need help healing I would recommend therapy with a trauma therapist (something like EMDR).