I am ignoring those people. Amit's high profile presence has made me think about the problem more, but I have not gone out of my way to see if any other people might be in need.
Sure, my registration in the database will help to match me against other people in need, but it doesn't inform me of people who are in need that I don't match.
See, that's what I mean. I feel guilty that I can't tell others about the thousands of people who are also in need. And really, even if I knew who all these other people were, my friends and family would get terribly annoyed that I would be telling them all about hundreds or thousands of other people in need.
See the problem? We care about Amit because he's high profile (and I'm glad we are trying!), but we do very little for the more 'anonymous' types. That's where my guilt comes in.
Everything helps. Before Amit's illness blew up, I wasn't even aware that there was such a thing as a marrow registry or that it was actually pretty simple to donate compared to other organ donation programs, many of which require you to face huge risk or being dragged in a bag. Just let people know occasionally. I feel your frustration at the great masses that fall through the cracks, but if you can get just a few people to sign up for the registry, there's a good chance that one of them could someday save a life and you'd be part of that, too.
Yep, this is exactly where my guilt comes in. What am I doing to help any of those millions of starving children? Very little.
So many people have told me throughout my life that I need to just ignore it, and you can't save the world. I can't help but think that's just their way of trying to invalidate any guilt of their own, even if they're right that it's not possible to help everyone everywhere.
Though that's why I invest on Kiva, because I can help make an impact in a "starving" part of the world helping to build up economies so the people can take care of themselves, rather than solely relying on financial donations.
No one can save the world, and no organization can save the world. People die, bad things happen and the measurable impact of any random person is zero. That's the simple facts of our existence. However, you can elevate yourself to where you have the ability to have more impact than a random person and you can direct your actions in a way that everyone you encounter is better for it (note that I say they are better for it and not that they think they are better for it). Those two things are how you have an actual impact because others follow suit, not because your individual contribution was overtly grand
"What am I doing to help any of those millions of starving children? Very little."
Feeling guilty isn't solving the problem, however. Guilt is just a pre-cursor to either resolve or apathy. If you don't do anything about it, you either get into a loop of guilt-> apathy-> guilt or you choose to ignore the problem (as you say your friends do).
Any action you take towards true progress for those in need, no matter how small, is good.
"The journey of 1,000 miles begins with a single step"
That's true. In my case, the emotion gives me an opportunity to reflect and determine a course of action.
My original intention for discussing my guilt was that I know it's a common feeling, and I wonder why so many people take action/interest for high profile cases. It's likely the overwhelming sense of apathy towards "saving the world" that people zoom in on particular people that they're familiar with.
But I still can't help feeling guilty for trying to help someone I know, versus a very needy person I don't. I'm not sure I'll ever be able to not feel this way. Ignoring the emotion only seems to bury it, only for it to resurface in the future (similar to your guilt->apathy->guilt cycle). One thing is sure though, even after I help someone, I still feel the sense of guilt and frustration that pairs knowing the rest of the world is still in need.
Like you said, any progress, no matter how small, is good!
That is exactly why I ended up adopting the concept (straight out of Atlas Shrugged) that I don't own anybody else anything except if we have made a previous agreement that I do. I don't feel I have to do charity.
So no, you don't have any ethical obligation what so ever toward somebody else. Even if eating out of your garbage could save their life you would be well within your rights to decline.
But really once you stop feeling like it is your responsibility to do something for anybody, no matter how great their need or how trivial it is for you, you feel so much better -- and you can still help somebody if you want to. You just have no obligation.
Please deal with your guilt by 'annoying' 10 other people and telling them/convincing them that signing up to the donor registry is very easy.
Alternately if you 'can't tell others about the thousands of people who are also in need' then yes you are guilty and should probably figure out something else useful for humanity that your conscience/selfulness lets you do.
I do not know the names, locations, or other pieces of information about the thousands of other people who are also in need. We know Amit. Without knowing their names and locations, there is absolutely no way to bring the same class of attention to them. There is no way to build a website highlighting one of the thousands of other people, nor is there a way to make it personable and striking to others to get involved.
Amit is lucky because he has a community of people who are making excellent efforts to find him a match. That's fantastic!
The guilt comes in when I know that it's just not possible (or sustainable) to do the same thing for all of the other people in his shoes.
I am a little sad that my message was misinterpreted and it sounded like I was full of "selfulness" --- but I'm hoping it was just a miscommunication.
And my point about annoying other people was that I certainly could not beg my friends to help a different person every single day. It's not sustainable. I know for certain that every one of my friends would block my emails, social network updates, and phone calls.
I could ask them once, twice, maybe even ten times over the course of a year. But beyond that, it begins to mirror harassment. It's just not sustainable for one person to broadcast that many repetitive messages.
Though, I sure wish I could make the same efforts to tell people about each individual of the thousand other people in need, as I have about Amit.
Sure, my registration in the database will help to match me against other people in need, but it doesn't inform me of people who are in need that I don't match.
See, that's what I mean. I feel guilty that I can't tell others about the thousands of people who are also in need. And really, even if I knew who all these other people were, my friends and family would get terribly annoyed that I would be telling them all about hundreds or thousands of other people in need.
See the problem? We care about Amit because he's high profile (and I'm glad we are trying!), but we do very little for the more 'anonymous' types. That's where my guilt comes in.