Divorce does force people to make tough choices. Both people are entitled to a share of the assets they jointly accumulated over time, separate their finances and make a fresh start independently. Keeping or selling the house (the biggest asset) is a hard decision. Selling often means disrupting the lives of the children etc. If property has negative equity, then it becomes even more challenging. In NY, couples can enter into an agreement where they keep joint ownership of the house for a while (eg until the kids grow up). This can only work if they’re amicable. Lots of people don’t want to continue holding a joint mortgage with their ex-partner, so it’s often a decision between sell the house or one person taking over the mortgage.