> ...How can I turn my directionless life around and find satisfaction with my career?
The very first thing that is spoken loudly from your post is a list of "nots" and "don'ts". Understandable, of course, that's how you're feeling...
Maybe at this point you could try a more affirmative way of "I am good at", "I can". It's very likely these strong sides of yours are getting undertoned and overshaded, which by itself may be the blocker.
Your career is still in progress, this also means plenty of chances to seek your preferences and turn any way if desired. You are being paid for what you can do - that's a big plus and is a confidence booster! Now, ask yourself if this field has still something that interests you, something that you think you want to be good at. Anyone to learn it from? Then try to embark on the journey with patience, cheering any small advances you'd make along.
The very first thing that is spoken loudly from your post is a list of "nots" and "don'ts". Understandable, of course, that's how you're feeling...
Maybe at this point you could try a more affirmative way of "I am good at", "I can". It's very likely these strong sides of yours are getting undertoned and overshaded, which by itself may be the blocker.
Your career is still in progress, this also means plenty of chances to seek your preferences and turn any way if desired. You are being paid for what you can do - that's a big plus and is a confidence booster! Now, ask yourself if this field has still something that interests you, something that you think you want to be good at. Anyone to learn it from? Then try to embark on the journey with patience, cheering any small advances you'd make along.
You've plenty of time for that!