Take some time off. If you’re burnt out, you need it regardless. When you’re ready to focus on work again, focus on working with the people who do work you find interesting. When they talk about interesting solutions, add those to your notes. Ask questions if you feel comfortable. It’s alright not to know, most of us don’t or didn’t along the way.
You’re not a loser. You’re nowhere near the end of the rope if you’re still interested in pursuing the career (and it’s okay if you want to look elsewhere if it doesn’t make you happy!). I’m saying this as someone turning 40 this year and still picking up fundamentals.
Some of this also reads as very familiar to me with an adult ADHD diagnosis. I don’t want to be presumptuous but that feels worth mentioning.
In any case… take some time off. You have more than you think, and the rest will give you more room to think about the rest.
You’re not a loser. You’re nowhere near the end of the rope if you’re still interested in pursuing the career (and it’s okay if you want to look elsewhere if it doesn’t make you happy!). I’m saying this as someone turning 40 this year and still picking up fundamentals.
Some of this also reads as very familiar to me with an adult ADHD diagnosis. I don’t want to be presumptuous but that feels worth mentioning.
In any case… take some time off. You have more than you think, and the rest will give you more room to think about the rest.