Maybe I'm conceited but I think curiosity should guide you. Obviously something about ML inspires you. Envision what you want to achieve and fill the gaps as you go. Yes, there are more or less optimal ways to learn, but maybe it's more important to keep the fire alive than to push through quickly. The harsh truth is that maybe you still harbor an aversion for math. Most ML practitioners have dark spots, that's fine. But you need a genuine interest to navigate.
This. Flame that curiosity into an intense burning desire. It's worth at least a x10. Another order of magnitude comes from talking one-one with someone who is living and breathing the work. I just don't get these "give me a list of books to read about mathematics" questions that pop up regularly on HN. Yes it's good to read & do your homework, but that shit is slooow. Even the professionals don't "read" mathematics, they talk to other mathematicians, and they work it out themselves. Understanding is not memorizing. I don't know what it is but it's not that.
