Suppose you tell a friend about a job you're applying to, they think it sounds nice, so they apply too and they get the job and you don't. You're not jealous of that?
Or maybe your brother and you have a crush on the same woman. He asks her out and they start dating. You aren't jealous.
Or just suppose you always wanted something at home, a hot tub, a big screen tv, a walk-in closet, a home office, whatever, and you find out your friend has the thing - you'd be envious right?
It seems like you're confusing being envious of someone as a negative feeling towards them, which is why you're getting caught up on the friends and family aspect. It shouldn't matter if it's friends and family - they are often the people you know the most about so you'll find out if they do/have something you want. If you let your envy turn to anger and contempt, that's the negative part, but you don't have to - that's just having a healthy perspective and self-control
- I've been in this situation and I was joyed for my mate, I ended up getting a better offer from elsewhere so it worked out anyway. He's still there, now as a lead architect
- This would absolutely make me jealous, but I've never been in that situation
- No, this is the weirdest one. I have friends who own huge houses (multiple!) and sports cars. I'm happy for their success, I find it genuinely mental that you would be (are? surely you have more successful friends) jealous because your mate has a better car than you. Jesus.
And I'm not "stuck" in the friends and family bit, that's been the whole context of the thread.
Or maybe your brother and you have a crush on the same woman. He asks her out and they start dating. You aren't jealous.
Or just suppose you always wanted something at home, a hot tub, a big screen tv, a walk-in closet, a home office, whatever, and you find out your friend has the thing - you'd be envious right?
It seems like you're confusing being envious of someone as a negative feeling towards them, which is why you're getting caught up on the friends and family aspect. It shouldn't matter if it's friends and family - they are often the people you know the most about so you'll find out if they do/have something you want. If you let your envy turn to anger and contempt, that's the negative part, but you don't have to - that's just having a healthy perspective and self-control