There are so many answers here to the effect of “Stop right now, find an acceptable partner, get married, have kids, everything else is meaningless.”
From all the long-term (7+ years) couples I know well enough to know if they are actually happy or not, it’s the minority that are happy. Stats don’t suggest I’ve got an unusual sample.
And I’ve heard time and again from parents of older children (when they leave home, or even they become teenagers) that much of the feelings of uselessness or directionlessness return.
This isn’t to discount any of the joy or happiness anyone here is experiencing. The opposite, really. I’m jealous of you. I want to have what you have and I’m pursuing it the best I can. But I pursue it knowing that marriage is just a shot at happiness, not a guarantee or probably even a likelihood. And I’m pursuing it knowing that raising children is a beautiful source of meaning, but it is a season.
It’s a worthy goal. But I’m having trouble squaring the black and white portrayal here with what I’ve seen and experienced.
From all the long-term (7+ years) couples I know well enough to know if they are actually happy or not, it’s the minority that are happy. Stats don’t suggest I’ve got an unusual sample.
And I’ve heard time and again from parents of older children (when they leave home, or even they become teenagers) that much of the feelings of uselessness or directionlessness return.
This isn’t to discount any of the joy or happiness anyone here is experiencing. The opposite, really. I’m jealous of you. I want to have what you have and I’m pursuing it the best I can. But I pursue it knowing that marriage is just a shot at happiness, not a guarantee or probably even a likelihood. And I’m pursuing it knowing that raising children is a beautiful source of meaning, but it is a season.
It’s a worthy goal. But I’m having trouble squaring the black and white portrayal here with what I’ve seen and experienced.