1. isn't bitcoin essentially worth $0 at that point? the technology is provably not safe and everyone will (should?) dump. getting it back is pointless. If I drag it out for a week or two it might not even make it to small claims.

2. having a court force someone to give bitcoin to someone else because they "don't own it" is also against what bitcoin stands for: decentralized. the blockchain decides who owns the bitcoin. regardless of how it got there. if some entity decides who should own what amount of bitcoin then the blockchain becomes irrelevant.

3. the blockchain is not irrelevant and is not under anyone's control (is it?). how can a court enforce bitcoin ownership transfer? if I burn the private key out of spite then good luck. you're not made whole, I don't have access to said bitcoin. now what? should I go to jail? what does that solve? it only tells the next guy to not brag about finding private keys left and right.

They might depending on how they loaded the money into said wallet. Considering most $ to bitcoin exchanges seem to log everything they likely would be a good way to prove that it is [your] $. Of course that assumes [you] haven't put it through anything like a tumbler.

They probably could by transactions linked to the public key that matches the private key and can be verified by law enforcement and witnesses that know the actual owner.