Is your child still young?

Because as children age you're able to reclaim some of your life back. At least, if you don't fall into the trap of them living a packed schedule themselves.

I've got three, the eldest is now old enough to babysit the rest if needed. With a consistent bedtime and family nearby to care for them on occasion, my wife and I do get some spare time. We mostly choose to spend that together but we can pursue our own hobbies also.

7. Yes I know, it gets better. That's still going to be 10 years off my already too short life.

And how I envy the idea that living close to family would save you time instead of draining some.

As a parent of two kids who are both past that age, I feel like your perspective on this is all wrong. You’ve given 70+ years to someone else. And you haven’t lost those years at all, since presumably you also have a meaningful day job (and if not, that’s not your child’s fault).

It sounds like you and your partner should work on splitting the load more. You don’t need both parents to look after the kid constantly, you can often take turns. Kids can also watch TV and all kinds of stuff. They also have earlier bedtimes, giving you even more free time.

> since presumably you also have a meaningful day job (and if not, that’s not your child’s fault).

Turns out that you need 3x the money when you need to feed 3x the people, so no, my job is not as meaningful as it could be and while you can't say it is my child's fault, that certainly caused my family status.