The thing about NTP jokes is you have to get the timing right.

I broke up with Java last week, and I still couldn't get any closure.

(I could go on, but I'll spare you - yes, I just thought of these, is it that obvious?)

Java is write once, run anywhere. Perl is write once, turn and run.

OO is like real life: you inherit properties, you cheat a little, then you get divorced, and you're left with an old, broken model

Bash is named after the monkey who successfully typed out Hamlet.

Korn shell was named after the band, and even though America won the cold war, UTF-8 was a notable casualty, so we couldn't use the backward R

The whole class was confused after Jimmy sang 10 little endians and stopped at the second one.

Thank you, I'll be here all week.

EDIT: Oh crap. Was that a joke about stopping on the first endian? If so, I just committed a classic geek fail...

So 10 is always 2.

Was this supposed to be a joke too? :)

  I tell ya, my programming language don't get no respect at all.
  I was telling my coworker about the library I was writing in my 10% time,
  and he asked if it was used for steering a turtle! No respect at all...

  Our meetups don't get a lot of traffic either. Last time only one guy
  showed up, and he was in the wrong room! Turned out he was looking
  for the cooler, more hip meetup across the hall-- it was for Ada! No
  respect at all...

  I told my boss he should give me a raise, that developers for my
  language were in big demand. He said from who, Fischer-Price?

  I tell him no, that Facebook was looking for guys like me, and he said
  that would only be happening if they're looking for a guy to rewrite
  existing code into a language used more widely and was more corporate 
  friendly-- like EmacsLisp!

Much easier to skim through quickly.

Did you hear the one about HTTP? Transfer-encoding: chunked.

(See? Not funny.)

etc.

There... There is... There is nothing... There is nothing funny about path MTU detection.

They got consed