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> I maybe looked at the compatibility score if it's there (e.g. OKCupid), read through the profiles, and if there was enough to grab my interest I'd write a message that at least makes some reference to what's mentioned in their profile. I got a response 8-9/10 times. Personally I think I look average enough and don't have amazing conversation skills, I just put in the work to send thoughtful messages.

Dating apps have all converged on being swipe-to-match based. Generally you cannot just try to send a message to start a conversation anymore. The option of sending a thoughtful message to get a conversation started is just gone.



Without knowing what apps you're talking about, I used OkCupid and PlentyOfFish. It's only been 3 years, I'm sure they still allow direct messaging


OKCupid moved to being swipe-based several years ago.


They had matches, and you could still message. I don't imagine the app version was much different than the web version in that respect and I used the latter.

It's really not hard to look up. See here: https://help.okcupid.com/article/40-how-to-send-an-introduct...

The only thing that's changed since I used it is they want you to hit "like" on their profile before you send a message. That's not an impediment. The option to send messages is not gone. Use it.




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