You got me. It wasn't a 100% faithful translation.
I removed "engineer" because it's not necessary to the broader premise that more highly skilled people tend to be both more trusted in our society and more likely to know how to get away with a crime.
I didn't translate "banal, lascivious panopticon" because it was it's one of those faux-profound images that adds very little.
It's hardly revelatory to tell HN readers that people are troublingly comfortable with constant tracking by corporations and governments.
The word "engineer" is critical to the first sentence, and your version has no translation of "banal, lascivious panopticon".
The roundabout structure of the sentences is much more relevant than the use of a big word or two.