I realize you're posting this in jest, but I actually prefer AOL for this. They're one of the only major providers that will still let you sign up without providing a phone number. And, like Yahoo, I'm kindof amazed that they're still around.

Huh, I didn’t know most of the providers require a phone number now. Thanks for the info!

Not accurate. Verizon owns them both, but bought AOL before Yahoo.

mail.yandex.com - they don't even require a cell phone number.