...and if you press a button, a baggy drops out full of null modems, gender changers, level shifters, diagnostic LED blocks, a wrench + diagonal cutter for inappropriately placed nuts, and a male and female 0.1" header adapter.
Tellya what, on my old Toughbook I had done a shit-ton of modding, and when I removed the 56k modem, I repurposed the RJ11 jack on the side to bring out an internal (TTL-level) serial port from the CDPD module connector. With some inline resistors to current-limit any stupidity I might get myself into.
Then in my bag, I carried an RJ11-to-female-headers cable, and a handful of jumper wires of various genders and a handful of minigrabber clips. And a butane-powered soldering iron, because you never know.
It was no Novena, for sure, but just having a TTL-level serial port made that a hell of a hacking machine. This was in the heyday of the WRT54G and similar, and I can't count the number of console ports I invaded with no more hardware than a wisp of wire.
One can dream!