For the kind of coworker I’d like, a grumpy old cynic beats the peppy corporate cheerleaders any day of the week.

I feel like that's a false dichotomy.

Fair point. I'm wondering though, how else you make people understand something like this?

Education and positive reinforcement.

Teach people the right way to do things, and then make that behavior self-rewarding.

What if that behavior isn't self-rewarding and is actually expensive? Not using Cloudflare, Google Maps, Analytics et all means you need to use something else, need to spend attention points somewhere, need to pay for the services. Very few people will do that because "it's the right thing to do".

I didn't say it was easy or obvious. If it were, I would be out of a job.

This is important to recognize. Victim blaming is a highly destructive practice.

Assigning blame for technical business decisions to the people who made those decisions is victim blaming?

Targeting the process or behavior that lead to an event is far more effective than targeting the person that triggered it. Do not conflate the two.