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Mothers Are the Unsung Heroes of Prison (themarshallproject.org)
109 points by wyndham on May 11, 2019 | hide | past | favorite | 46 comments



There was no reader mode available, but you can get that here in case you also need that accessibility: https://outline.com/bHxccU

“(...) making it harder for our moms and other family members to visit us, or forcing them to visit us via video chat. Instead of making it more expensive for them to accept our phone calls or send us emails. (...)”

This seems soulless. I wonder how that works elsewhere.


US prisons always sound like hell.

In Germany, prison time is like being in the hospital without being sick. Mostly boring.


Germany also does a lot of other things right. The problems in the US with regards to the penal system are largely rooted in the fact that we can't be arsed to treat anyone in this country decently, except maybe a few of the ultra rich.

Everyone else:

Fuck you if you get sick. Not our problem.

Fuck you if you have a kid. Not our problem. Maybe keep it in your pants next time.

Fuck you if don't need and can't afford a mansion. No, we absolutely don't believe that the insane square footage and cost inflation of housing has anything to do with our homeless problem. Why are you bringing up crazy talk like that?

Fuck you if you want an education. We are going to load you up with student loans that will ruin your life for decades to come and that you mostly can't discharge via bankruptcy, unlike most other forms of debt.

Then we say the so-called 99 Percent are irresponsible and ill behaved and not a product of our shitty system that is actively chewing up citizens and spitting them out.


Aren't prisons supposed to be like that? In my perception, the goal of prison is exactly that: be like hell so other people are afraid of getting there enough so they don't commit crime? Someone who's already into prison for a long term is lost anyway, he or she will be criminalized for life. And this is why prison terms should be mostly binary: we should try to either punish someone with something short of that, or if not, lock him up for long enough he either never makes it out of there, or does it old enough so he's not tuu much of a threat anymore.


The severity of punishment does little to deter crime. More significant is the certainty of getting caught:

https://nij.gov/five-things/Pages/deterrence.aspx

As well, the purpose of prison should be not only to punish, but also to rehabilitate. I would actually argue rehabilitation should be the primary purpose of prison.


My goodness, have you ever had a family member, relative, friend or known anyone who has gone to prison? The way you describe the goal of prison sounds worse than slavery, worse than training dogs.

These are human beings, and I consider it utterly uncivilized and inhumane that we would have an institution designed to "be like hell". It's also a typically Christian approach (I mean the church, not the original love commune nor the homeless man who taught to love each other as one self) - to play God, to judge, to create hell and condemn someone to it.

Many of these lost souls are already in hell, of a broken society, a broken home. Putting them in a deeper circle of hell is not any kind of a solution. For the person being punished, it's just a continuation of the same shit way they've been treated. How can we expect any rehabilitation, any healing to take place in a dungeon?

It just reminds me that we're still in the Dark Ages, underneath our veneer of "civilization".


> It just reminds me that we're still in the Dark Ages, underneath our veneer of "civilization".

Though it's only more recently that keeping people in prison for significant lengths of time has been commonplace, or thought of as a way of punishing/rehabilitating.

Present day is darker in some ways than the so-called Dark Ages.


Could you tell us more about that? I'm very curious to know what happened other than long-term imprisonment. Banishment? Death? The stocks?


Yes, all of those. As well as fines.


Honestly, my understanding is prison are supposed to be a deterrent for the free, and a rehabilitation for the imprisoned.

Most prison terms are not 40-60 year virtual life sentences, so most people who go to prison will see the outside again. So while I dont think we should 'take it easy' on prisoners we really shouldn't be trying to do damage that will prevent them from having a chance to function in society.

Besides all that fundamental as a society either the society believes in human rights or it doesnt...


In the US, specifically Georgia, the justice system is almost strictly punative with little to no provision for rehabilitation. Should you get stuck in it, it is designed to punish you to the maximum normal sentence, not to help you in any way. As far as I can tell, it's not designed as a rehabilitation for the imprisioned. Probation and parole similarly act with punative means only. In practice, the probation officers are not your friends and they are not there to help you.


>Aren't prisons supposed to be like that? In my perception, the goal of prison is exactly that: be like hell so other people are afraid of getting there enough so they don't commit crime?

What about the wrongly convicted? I understand the desire for revenge, but prisons should be safe, secure and inmates should come out of there as people you'd be happy to have as a neighbor.

When you treat prisoners like animals, they'll act like animals.


> I understand the desire for revenge, but prisons should be safe, secure and inmates should come out of there as people you'd be happy to have as a neighbor.

All else being equal, I’d always prefer a non-ex-con over an ex-con as a neighbor. I doubt I’m alone in this.


At least you know where you stand with someone who's been caught before. Every ex-con starts out as a non-ex-con.


> When you treat prisoners like animals, they'll act like animals.

And when you don't treat them like animals, they will still act like animals. Some, of course, not all, just like today not all US-inmates come out acting like animals.


If you were in a medieval society where punishment was a demonstration of the monarch's power as displayed on the body of an offender, then yeah I guess? Depends on what you want a prison to do. For grisly vengeance, a town square pillory is a pretty good approach.

But if you pretend to care about the larger good of society (but still harbor that mean streak) then you lock people away, assure the population you're doing your best to "reform" them, and choose the most expensive form of torture you can imagine: keeping people alive for the rest of their lives all the while subjecting them to sexual violence from their fellow prisoners.

Has the benefit of fewer angry riots over public execution and torture. More predictable.

If you actually care about people you create a system like they have in Norway.


What if it was a neutral experience or even a positive one? I would think detention alone would be a deterrent. Infrequent contact with loved ones, no agency to set your life in the direction you want. I think decreasing recidivism should be a goal and we should be willing to spend money to help make it happen.


The last part was pretty hard hitting. Posts get linked on HN often about prisons making it impossible for people to contact their family and friends. I can't imagine how fucked up someone would end up after being totally cut off from their friends and family.


It is a moving piece about quiet heroism, I enjoyed it a lot.

And it reminds me of another article about Lyn Ulbricht (https://breakermag.com/lyn-ulbricht-pushed-herself-to-the-br...). Lyn is the mother of Ross Ulbricht, the founder of Silk Road. The article goes at length about the war she is fighting to get her son out of jail. I have so much respect and admiration for this woman. It is quite something and they make a very compelling case in my opinion. You can read more about it here: https://freeross.org/


That's what I was thinking too. Lyn is super cool.


life in prison with no parole? that is so harsh. give him 10 years max. drugs are soon to be legalised...


I thought so too at first, but a few months ago I read the judges' decision in his appeal. He had actually ordered some murders as well, and that was factored into his sentence.

The murders didn't actually take place, but he did order them and he was under the impression that they were carried out.


And yet, there are actual murderers who do receive parole - and that's the way it should be. Many countries do not even have life in prison without parole, as they rightfully recognize it as inhumane.


Why should it be that way? Did the murderer's victim(s) receive some kind of leniency or reprieve after a period of time? Did they re-animate?

I don't have a strong opinion here either way, but separating convicted murderers (especially first-degree or conspiracy-to) from free society doesn't inherently sound like a crazy bad idea.


That depends on whether you view prison as a way of getting revenge on criminals or as a way of trying to reform them.

If you view prison as an agency of revenge on wrongdoers then, of course, life without parole for murderers makes perfect sense.

If, on the other hand, you view prison as a way of trying to reform wrongdoers and turn them into productive members of society then life without parole makes no sense at all.


There are at least two other possible reasons for prison: deterrence and ensuring that no further free persons are harmed.

The family might be interested in revenge. Society has an interest in all three other possible motivations, though probably not in revenge.


Or the third option - to protect the public from future crimes by keeping the person away from the public.


view prison as a way of getting revenge on criminals or as a way of trying to reform them

This is the crux of the whole issue. The US is split between the two notions of justice: retribution and rehabilitation. The split seems to largely fall along political lines, which means the argument isn't likely to be settled any time soon.

I tend to fall in the rehabilitation camp but I can see some of the logic behind the other side. At the very least, I recognize that it's better for the state to apply measured retribution than for families to pronounce blood feuds upon one another. Beyond that, I'm at a loss for what to do about cold, psychopathic individuals who seem utterly incapable of reform.


Deterrence and retribution are different things. Prison systems with harsh sentences are typically more about sending a message to potential criminals than punishing existing ones.


The threat of life in prison can also be viewed as a deterrent. How long should a murderer get to be reformed? What is long enough so a person will not think that that amount of time is a good trade off to kill someone?

Someone can agree with both of your views depending on the crime. Physically harming another person, particularly irreparably is different than stealing something for example.


Murder is not something you rehabilitate against. I should not be able to murder people if I can just act real nice to get away with it.


Why do you confuse "rehabilitation" with "acting"?

If a patient goes to a doctor and their wound heals, is that "acting healthy"?

You can make a case that we can't know if someone is rehabilitated, but if you think rehabilitation can be a thing, that necessarily includes being able to distinguish acting from genuine change.


I don't believe you can distinguish the two, especially when someone takes a deliberate and motivated action which they can fully expect to land them in prison. (See: organized crime.)


Context is important. This is why we have judges and juries and appeals.


Can you direct me to the judgement where he was found guilty of conspiracy to murder, or as an accomplice?

From my research, this non-fact was brought up NOT in any charge, but was in the sentencing hearing as if it was a found true fact.


He wasn't charged with those offences but evidence was produced of them which factored into his sentencing, as Ulbricht ordered the killings to support his drug trafficking operation.

He doesn't need to be found guilty of those offences for it to factor into sentencing. It would be different if the evidence was not produced at his trial, but given that it was produced, the judge can consider it.


> He doesn't need to be found guilty of those offences for it to factor into sentencing

That seems very wrong to me, the concept of "innocent until proven guilty" should extend to sentencing


> That seems very wrong to me, the concept of "innocent until proven guilty" should extend to sentencing

That's quite impossible, isn't it? Motives regularly play a role in sentencing and you cannot prove those, only deeds. You can believe it to be very likely that somebody did X because of Y and not because of Z, but you can't prove it.


Considering the whole prison system is now moving to make it so people can only "visit" other people through over-priced video link. What is the social and societal cost of such a tech move?


71% of high school dropouts come from fatherless homes. 90% of runaway and homeless children come form fatherless homes. 85% of children with behavioral problems come from fatherless homes. 63% of youth suicide is fatherless homes. Of the 27 shooters, only 1 was raised by his biological father since birth

Does this go well with:

> Maybe we should consider just how much positive influence these wonderful ladies have on the penal system, every day of the year.

and

> A momma’s boy, which almost all convicts are.


Basically, you are vilifying the parent who bothers to stick around because it is usually a woman.

Sadly, as I write this, it's the top comment because this is an overwhelmingly male forum, so an awful lot of members are all too happy to upvote anything that spin doctors problems to make men look good and women look bad without thinking any deeper about the problem than that.

For the record, it's actually a problem that so many men in the US don't give a damn about their own children, can't be bothered to show up and also don't give a damn about how that negatively impacts the woman who had children by them.

We need more family friendly policies that help parents do right by their kids. Most developed countries do not take the attitude that "You fools who had kids are on your own and we aren't going to lift a finger to help you raise your kids. No, we don't care that this actually comes back to bite us once they are grown and the problem is being handled by the police and the penal system. We just aren't that bright and can't see the cause-and-effect obvious connection there, never mind the existence of studies that show it."


Single parenthood is a thankless task. Is there evidence that single fathers fare any better?


I was curious so I dug; I am not an expert at all and make no claim to that.

AFAICT, in the USA, single Fathers occur at a much lower rate than single mothers, are more likely to be cohabitating with a partner, and tend to have a higher level of education and a larger income[0].

I don't think you could fairly compare the efficacy of single mothers and fathers against each other. There's not enough single fathers, and their socio-economic positioning tends to be more advantageous.

It would be curious to see if elevating the socio-economic opportunities of single mothers would reduce the likelihood of criminal behaviour in their children.

0: https://ifstudies.org/blog/five-facts-about-todays-single-fa...


On top of head, I know about three shooters who lived with biological father and multiple who were adopted (e.g. no biological parent).

I also noted that you do not mention divorce rates and how many children without problems are fatherless.

Finally, yes, in unstable or violent or otherwise troubled families it is usually mother that stays with kid and father who leaves. Either because he is uninterested or in prison or have restraining order against him.

Sounds like you have an agenda here.


I quite liked this article and had a (very cursory) look at the other stuff he wrote, and from what I've seen I can recommend it.

It's maybe not fancy writing, but the topics are interesting, and it gets to the point.


Maslow’s Pyramid explains what makes a mother heroic https://qz.com/1615580/maslows-pyramid-explains-what-makes-a...




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