I was guilty of the same kind of thinking when I first moved to San Francisco - it was, at the time, worlds better than the suburban Florida environment that I'd grown up in or the other mid-sized southern cities I'd visited frequently. I fell in love immediately.
But after a couple of years, the little cracks in the armor start to show up - outside of a very narrow strip of Market St and the Mission, getting around to other parts of the region is difficult. The weather is good, but certainly not the perfect beachy warmth I was used to as a kid and got monotonous. Most people I met seemed to already have their circles of friends and they centered mostly around who worked where or what hackathons you wanted to do, and that wasn't my ideal weekend scene. Rampant, aggressive homelessness made simply walking through many neighborhoods saddening at best, actively hostile at worst. Credit where its due, I found a lot of solace riding my bike around in the Marin headlands, but I could only really do that a couple of days a week at best.
NYC, by comparison, I moved to and didn't immediately fall in love. It was huge and intimidating and I showed up in August when it was humid and moving into my 5th floor walkup was painful. It took a few months to feel comfortable with transit options and like I wasn't solely reliant on maps. But I had an easier time making friends who didn't want to code 24/7, yet still take their professional life seriously. Nightlife is waaaayyy better in NYC, and there are hundreds more options. There is still a homelessness problem, but its generally less in-your-face and less aggressive. Its still expensive, but less so than SF. Sometimes I call a car to go somewhere because the weather is bad or I'm in a hurry, but I rarely feel like there is somewhere I simply cannot get to on public transit. Its the only place I've ever lived where the longer I've been here, the more I've liked it.
SF definitely has charm, but like you and your friends, many of my friends and I who have done both find NYC to be a much better example of a functional, diverse, very livable city. I wouldn't trade my time in SF for anything else, it was valuable to a younger version of myself - but I'm happy it propelled me elsewhere.
Heh funny, I did Chicago first as well and now I'm doing SF. It was also really cool for me to be in Chicago and discover my first tech scene, now SF is a thousand times crazier.
I agree with GP, although I really want to like SF but it is hard because I've lived in nicer cities.
We've contemplated moving to NYC in the beginning, or after SF if we really don't like it, but I don't see myself living in NYC. It feels like a great big city, without the advantages of the great big cities you have in Europe or Asia.
But after a couple of years, the little cracks in the armor start to show up - outside of a very narrow strip of Market St and the Mission, getting around to other parts of the region is difficult. The weather is good, but certainly not the perfect beachy warmth I was used to as a kid and got monotonous. Most people I met seemed to already have their circles of friends and they centered mostly around who worked where or what hackathons you wanted to do, and that wasn't my ideal weekend scene. Rampant, aggressive homelessness made simply walking through many neighborhoods saddening at best, actively hostile at worst. Credit where its due, I found a lot of solace riding my bike around in the Marin headlands, but I could only really do that a couple of days a week at best.
NYC, by comparison, I moved to and didn't immediately fall in love. It was huge and intimidating and I showed up in August when it was humid and moving into my 5th floor walkup was painful. It took a few months to feel comfortable with transit options and like I wasn't solely reliant on maps. But I had an easier time making friends who didn't want to code 24/7, yet still take their professional life seriously. Nightlife is waaaayyy better in NYC, and there are hundreds more options. There is still a homelessness problem, but its generally less in-your-face and less aggressive. Its still expensive, but less so than SF. Sometimes I call a car to go somewhere because the weather is bad or I'm in a hurry, but I rarely feel like there is somewhere I simply cannot get to on public transit. Its the only place I've ever lived where the longer I've been here, the more I've liked it.
SF definitely has charm, but like you and your friends, many of my friends and I who have done both find NYC to be a much better example of a functional, diverse, very livable city. I wouldn't trade my time in SF for anything else, it was valuable to a younger version of myself - but I'm happy it propelled me elsewhere.