Before kids nothing scared me. Not because I felt invincible but because I felt like uncalled code. If I were culled, there'd be sad family but everyone would move on. Nobody depended on me.
But now I have kids and they need me in a way I've never felt from anyone before. It's F@#$_ing terrifying because of just how vulnerable I realise I am.
Get 10 or 20 year term life insurance. Someone else has said this already but it can't be repeated enough.
Get enough to pay your spouses expenses until they are able to get income, pay off your mortgage if applicable, and if you can afford it get enough to cover future college expenses.
Age, health, term-duration depending it will cost you a something on the order of $100-1000 per year. It will cover you to that amount until your term expires, and then it's gone. It's a pure cost - unlike whole life, which seemed to me to be more of a tax reducing strategy for very wealthy people - but you will sleep much, much better.
I'm a father of 7- and 5-year-olds, and I constantly think of this.
I have some anxiety issues and frequently have mild panic attacks, which can have symptoms similar to heart attacks. I have vasovagal responses triggered by odd and benign things. I also have bad muscle tension in my neck and upper back, which can extend around into my chest. And to top it all off, because I have children, I am often sleep deprived and drink too much caffeine. Heart-related issues are on my mind so frequently that I've almost convinced myself that I'm going to die of a heart attack one day, despite me being in good health.
I spend a lot of time worrying, so if I could share my advice with others: if you are worried, just see a doctor. It's not worth being wrong. One day I had symptoms of a heart attack for hours and went to an urgent care facility and got an EKG and x-ray of my heart. They found nothing, and attributed it to musculoskeletal pain. Considering I've been worrying about my heart for many years prior, those tests gave me a strong sense of relief and allowed me to focus on learning how to control my anxiety without getting into a feedback loop (anxiety -> heart attack symptoms -> more anxiety from worry). I can now calm myself down pretty quickly.
This may seem obvious, but getting extra sleep and cutting out caffeine helps immensely with all of the above symptoms. Easier said than done as a parent whose kids don't even sleep through the night. :)
I have been experiencing these same symptoms. I started seeing a therapist again, which is starting to help me control and understand the trigger sources for my anxiety. Thank you for sharing such a personal thing, it helps me know I'm not alone in letting my brain trick me.
yes - it's relatively cheap when you're youngish (i.e. kids < 20) which is when your family would need it the most. Treat the premiums as a sunk cost (you know, actual insurance) instead of some sort of investment or convertible policy.
But now I have kids and they need me in a way I've never felt from anyone before. It's F@#$_ing terrifying because of just how vulnerable I realise I am.