Edit: I think I may have misread the tone/implications of your post, just as I think you may have misread the parent post. (I don't think that apo was implying bringing forward moral condemnation as a tactic.) I didn't see that you recommended pointing people to trauma treatment, that's a great suggestion. I'll leave the rest of the post up as a personal anecdote to support that.

There was a time in my life when I frequently made bad decisions that negatively impacted others. In retrospect, one of the things that kept me from recognizing the impact of my behavior was that nobody was willing to take me aside and have an honest, straightforward conversation about it. Not a "shaming" conversation -- that would have backfired and likely would have caused me to veer off into other destructive behavior -- but a practical, compassionate conversation explaining that people had noticed my behavior, and that it was affecting myself and others negatively.

Given my situation, I would have stopped immediately if I had been confronted in such a way. In fact, I often fantasized about a friend finally confronting me, because I knew that if other people actually recognized what I was doing then I'd have to quit immediately. I knew that the behavior was destructive. I just didn't have it in me to make a change on my own, and I wasn't willing to ask for help.

I eventually figured it out, but it was a long and lonely road.