My main point was the same as yours: that the event horizon looks more and more "normal" as a region of space the larger the black hole is, so if you want to get close to a black hole's event horizon to test its properties (e.g. to explore whether quantum effects might cause that "normalness" to break down), visiting a very large black hole is your best bet.
I haven't double checked the calculations myself: too much other stuff to do. But glancing around at other people who have looked at the numbers, it seems pretty clear that spaghettification is expected to happen for macroscopic objects well outside the event horizon of a stellar-mass black hole. Wikipedia gives an example of a 10-solar-mass black hole: its event horizon radius is about 30km, but macroscopic objects will be spaghettified at a radius of about 320km. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spaghettification#Inside_or_ou... (That ratio is roughly reversed for a 10,000-solar-mass black hole.) There are some similar calculations shown in detail on this NASA math worksheet (which is for some reason still using cgs units): https://spacemath.gsfc.nasa.gov/blackh/4Page33.pdf
I haven't double checked the calculations myself: too much other stuff to do. But glancing around at other people who have looked at the numbers, it seems pretty clear that spaghettification is expected to happen for macroscopic objects well outside the event horizon of a stellar-mass black hole. Wikipedia gives an example of a 10-solar-mass black hole: its event horizon radius is about 30km, but macroscopic objects will be spaghettified at a radius of about 320km. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spaghettification#Inside_or_ou... (That ratio is roughly reversed for a 10,000-solar-mass black hole.) There are some similar calculations shown in detail on this NASA math worksheet (which is for some reason still using cgs units): https://spacemath.gsfc.nasa.gov/blackh/4Page33.pdf