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I have absolutely been there. (Especially the "now in hiding for the rest of my life because I forgot to respond to someone for a week" part and the "two months to fill out an application" part and the "emotionally incapable of doing anything, stopped believing anything else is possible" part... so, well, all of the parts actually.)

For me, what worked was getting another human being (my parents, in this case) to help me through getting the applications done, and following up with people I'm being avoidant about, and generally reminding me that I was being ridiculous. Also, it helped to find out that these were all really common manifestations of certain kinds of Brain Problems(tm) (anxiety in particular), which made me feel like less of a lazy worthless piece of shit and more like just a dude with a problem, and also directed me to various kinds of therapy & medication which have been helpful at fixing the issue.




My reflexive... Muy Thai is often referred to as the art of eight limbs because it uses everything to fight...

Everything against everything, is me. If someone even just super passively tries to support me in an endeavor I am 1000% more likely to not do it. If they try to push me to do it I absolutely will not out of spite.

I harbor no illusions that I am particularly unique so I'm willing to bet you, or some one reading this, was exactly the same, until they weren't; unfortunately for me I am me until I'm not.




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