You would think that managing to save up enough money to pay for a second degree in cash and then achieving that degree (well in the fall but 8 credits away), seeing a counselor and getting on antidepressants would count.
Turns out it doesn't and I'm going to spend the next umpteen years saving up again for a third useless degree.
Talk with your doctor to ditch the antidepressants ASAP, and make sure your doctor tapers your dosage.
I’d recommend mindful breathing exercises and meditative practices. CBT may also help you. It’s a marathon, not a sprint. Hope that helps, and best of luck to you.
2008-2010 I wanted to do nothing. 2010-12 I wanted to hide in a closet. 12-16 I wanted to die.
On medication I don't want to die. It's not great but it's a damn sight better than the decade preceding it.
Went off medication for the summer and fall after 9 months. Failed 4 of 5 classes.
Doing the meditation and breathing and shit too. Turns out that in order to make positive changes in your life you have to be willing to make positive changes in your life. Which I'm not currently.
From your trainwreck description of existence, I think you'd like the life of a yogi (and the required ability to stomach a bunch of pain while in mayurasana).
I've got a couple years of yoga as interpreted by basic-AF white ladies under my belt, turns out being in a room with a dozen other people just breathing is in fact my jammy-jam.
the Bagavad Gita, the sutras though...
I'm pretty hardcore existential-naturalist (existentialism actually was a reaction against naturalism by I am a born syncretic) and as a result the anarchy of LeGuin's the Dispossessed or Kropotkin's Conquest of Bread present more or less identical praxis but with out the need for faith in anything more than my neighbors.
Turns out it doesn't and I'm going to spend the next umpteen years saving up again for a third useless degree.
C'est la vie.