> Yes, indeed, and there are a number of reasons for this. From my point of view, I would avoid approaching a group of women talking by themselves since I'd be the odd one out.
That's really weird. Why would you assume--in a professional environment, specifically--that it's less acceptable to approach a pair of strangers based exclusively on their gender?
> In fact, to me, it looks to me like he was talking about an insecurity he has, and it's not directly related to you... and you are tagging this as sexism.
How would you feel if the mentor had said they'd never worked with black people before, and weren't sure how to talk to them?
You mentioned "alternative explanations besides sexism," but I don't see any way that these explanations aren't sexism.
I wonder if you're assuming that "sexist" only applies to harassers and open bigots. If you mean well but are unable to treat colleagues equally because of their gender, that's sexist. It doesn't mean you're a monster or a bad person, but it does mean that you have some real problems that you need to address.
Isn't a person who refuses to acknowledge and change his toxic behavior despite all warning signs a definition of a bad person (which also often transitions to monster)?
I wouldn't, because his learning time means his victims's time in hell. It also doesn't work like this legally, in case of committing a crime, not fully realizing one's own problematic behavior is not quite an argument.
It still applies, although on a smaller scale. Some person will feel uncomfortable because of another person's learning process. It's obvious that learning will take place, but it should happen as an established and guided process like training or curation, this kind of learning is ok.
That's really weird. Why would you assume--in a professional environment, specifically--that it's less acceptable to approach a pair of strangers based exclusively on their gender?
> In fact, to me, it looks to me like he was talking about an insecurity he has, and it's not directly related to you... and you are tagging this as sexism.
How would you feel if the mentor had said they'd never worked with black people before, and weren't sure how to talk to them?
You mentioned "alternative explanations besides sexism," but I don't see any way that these explanations aren't sexism.
I wonder if you're assuming that "sexist" only applies to harassers and open bigots. If you mean well but are unable to treat colleagues equally because of their gender, that's sexist. It doesn't mean you're a monster or a bad person, but it does mean that you have some real problems that you need to address.