So all of them "so ludicrously long that these are just numbers". To put it in human terms:
* a black hole with a mass of 70 kilograms will evaporate in 0.028 nanoseconds
* a black hole that will evaporate in 80 years has a mass of ~ 311,000 tons, and would be... Impossibly small (2000 times smaller than a proton charge radius).
And that's why most of the time of the universe (from 10^40 years, long after the last stars have died, until 10^100 years) will be just black holes vaporizing, after which (10^100 to 10^2500) years it'll be just a few stray protons, photons, and electrons floating around (assuming they don't disintegrate either).
How small can a black hole be before it would evaporate faster than it can consume ordinary matter? If I set the radius in the calculator you linked to approximately equal the proton radius at 8.4e-16 meters, I get a luminosity of just about 1 gigawatt and a lifetime of 500 gigayears. If such a black hole were drifting through e.g. a giant cube of water, specific gravity 1.0, would more mass be added to the black hole per second than it loses via evaporation? How far beyond the event horizon is such a black hole's gravity strong enough that ordinary matter doesn't have the compressive mechanical strength to resist the gravitational forces exerted by the black hole? My questions may be faulty or incoherent because I don't have enough background.
