Me either. In my experience, being willing to be the first one to open up goes a long way in making people open up to you and establish some trust that, for example, I won't be judging people etc. But I do try to never, ever, discuss politics or religion. That's a one-way route to bad tempers.
I generally don't discuss politics. I am careful how I discuss religion. I also find that being side by side or sitting at a 90 degree angle instead of face to face reduces the sense of confrontation. It also helps if you are doing other things while talking.
I usually am only trying to make conversation. I am slow to judge and I tend to assume people do things for a reason. So I don't dump a bunch of shame and guilt on people.
I also default to talking about me rather than about other people. It gets me accused of being self centered and crap like that, but I find it to be the least worst option, vastly less problematic than talking about other people.
