That sounds like an odd and crippling inability to empathize. People talk to their gestating children, give them names, make plans for them, tell them how well they are going to take care of them, and then, sometimes, all that falls apart.
It doesn't matter if it's a human life or a hobby project, if a human being spends time and effort on something, and comes to care about that something which is causing them to expend that time and effort, and then they lose it, and can't replace it, they're most likely going to grieve in some way small or large.
Never burnt food or had a computer crash in the middle of some work and felt slightly sad or disappointed? The amount of grief is proportional, I would imagine, to the combination of the value of the thing, the amount of time spent on it, the amount of future plans for it, etc -- and with a baby which you're going to spend the rest of your life (and afterlife, wills and trusts) on... that value is going to eclipse everything else. Already you plan to spend the rest of your life on it, and as it grows you just become more attached, so I can understand the grief, to an extent, it's probably worse than I imagine. i.e., we all know it would be "horrible" to lose a child who had been born and grown up some years, but I don't think anyone could really grapple with the depth of that unless it happened to them.
If you can't understand that, and you never understood it, then I imagine you never bothered to try, because that's just human nature.
I had a driver cut me off the other day when I was driving my son. Just pulled out into the middle of traffic with zero visibility hoping there was no one else there... I was surprised by my immediately violent thoughts of what I would have done to that driver had my son been harmed.
Having kids absolutely rewires parts of your brain. So, that said, I agree with both you and enimodas. I think this is one of those occasions where it's important to distinguish between sympathy and empathy.
It doesn't matter if it's a human life or a hobby project, if a human being spends time and effort on something, and comes to care about that something which is causing them to expend that time and effort, and then they lose it, and can't replace it, they're most likely going to grieve in some way small or large.
Never burnt food or had a computer crash in the middle of some work and felt slightly sad or disappointed? The amount of grief is proportional, I would imagine, to the combination of the value of the thing, the amount of time spent on it, the amount of future plans for it, etc -- and with a baby which you're going to spend the rest of your life (and afterlife, wills and trusts) on... that value is going to eclipse everything else. Already you plan to spend the rest of your life on it, and as it grows you just become more attached, so I can understand the grief, to an extent, it's probably worse than I imagine. i.e., we all know it would be "horrible" to lose a child who had been born and grown up some years, but I don't think anyone could really grapple with the depth of that unless it happened to them.
If you can't understand that, and you never understood it, then I imagine you never bothered to try, because that's just human nature.