Many people dream of having children, of raising them and caring for them with their spouses, of helping them be kind, happy, healthy, educated successful people, of sharing triumphs and defeats with them.
When they learn a child is coming, they're joyful. They work and sacrifice in anticipation: everything from the mother's morning sickness (which, contrary to the name, can happen all day long) to preparing a nursery to finding a day care (which in crazy places like Silicon Valley people often have to do in advance of the birth to secure a spot). They share the happy news with friends and family and coworkers and strangers, have a baby shower, etc.
In some cases, they've been trying to have a child for years. Maybe they're getting up in age and worried they're losing their chance. Maybe they've spent a lot of time and money on fertility treatments. Maybe they've had previous miscarriages.
I've never experienced a miscarriage and hope I never will, but I can imagine some of the disappointment and sadness of never getting to know this new little person, of knowing the sickness was for nothing, of seeing of all these items they bought that now remind them of what might have been, of telling people it didn't work out, of undoing all that work done in preparation of something that won't happen, and of wondering if it's worth it to try again.
> ... seeing of all these items they bought that now remind them of what might have been, of telling people it didn't work out, of undoing all that work done in preparation of something that won't happen ...
This is the reasoning behind suggestions of not even telling others until after the first trimester, which is when most miscarriages happen. It doesn't make any of the other parts easier, but at least the unwinding doesn't have to happen.
When they learn a child is coming, they're joyful. They work and sacrifice in anticipation: everything from the mother's morning sickness (which, contrary to the name, can happen all day long) to preparing a nursery to finding a day care (which in crazy places like Silicon Valley people often have to do in advance of the birth to secure a spot). They share the happy news with friends and family and coworkers and strangers, have a baby shower, etc.
In some cases, they've been trying to have a child for years. Maybe they're getting up in age and worried they're losing their chance. Maybe they've spent a lot of time and money on fertility treatments. Maybe they've had previous miscarriages.
I've never experienced a miscarriage and hope I never will, but I can imagine some of the disappointment and sadness of never getting to know this new little person, of knowing the sickness was for nothing, of seeing of all these items they bought that now remind them of what might have been, of telling people it didn't work out, of undoing all that work done in preparation of something that won't happen, and of wondering if it's worth it to try again.