It's helpful to place yourself in context you are not the only person who's felt brutalized by this industry. I doubt you suck you wouldn't have ever made any team if you were really terrible this industry can be very hard on self esteem, it can get very lonely. I've survived 25 years in web development some days I wanted to cut my wrists but you soldier on. I haven't even had more than 1 day off since 1995. Keep a stiff upper lip it's a tough industry don't take things personally .