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> Call your grandma, friend, dad, girlfriend, anyone

A bit offtopic, but the author seems to assume you are a straight coder guy. This was probably not his intention though. Why not replace "girlfriend" by something more neutral, like "your better half"? Being inclusive doesn't cost much, really.



I think everybody got the point. The dude was writting blog about keeping healthy social life, not sexuality. If we keep splitting it to atoms, it would be pretty distracting experience for writter of any blog post. Being a little bit inclusive doesn't cost much, but it could cost a lot if you go by your logic for every other thing...


Is there a book or a list of ways to brush an issue under the carpet? This is one of them, one of the most pernicious.

The language we use, especially the language we use casually, defines how we appear. To those outside the predominantly straight white male clique of programming, repeated exposure to these casual assumptions of stereotype pile up and create a sense that those not fitting the stereotype are unwelcome. Imagine if, every single day you had to drive around the same pothole in the road into coming traffic: eventually, you'd find a different route.


Can we just not do this? Twisting every innocuous throwaway statement into some covert form of oppression gets really tedious after a while.

"Come and see the violence inherent in the system. Help, help, I'm being repressed!"


You're right. The point is that it's not a covert form of oppression, it's de facto.

There is a straight, white male clique-iness to the programming world. Most blog posts assume the reader is a straight, white male. These are turn offs to some people, whether conscious or not.


Nope. Repeating the message in different ways is the only way to get it across, unfortunately. Throwaway assumptions really are death of a thousand cuts for people who don't fit those assumptions.


Please don't use racist language on HN.


If you get used to writing in inclusive terms, these changes don't cost anything. They're just how you naturally express ideas, and exclusive terms feel unnaturally specific.


After giving it a second thought you are right. But what struck me about initial comment was that I read the blog post first, which I think was pretty straight forward, just to find out that somebody was giving shit to OP for not including something that wasn't even remotley close to the subject. Statistics are what's holding the whole thing back. I have friends that are gay and I am totally open minded about anything, but sincerely I would forget to include them If I was writing blog post like this. Not because I don't like them or anything but because I would be telling experiences from my perspective, trying to tell a story from my point of view, and I am white male clique. So I will pay attention and work on that, but sometimes those things are not the point and you don't think about it...


Are they really "giving shit to OP" though? I feel like the criticism was presented pretty politely. They pointed out that it's offtopic and that it's not intentional, and they provided an alternative.

That said, I can understand people being touchy about this, as these issues have become very polarised. PC should be about helping people choose to use inclusive language, but some people choose to shame people for getting wrong.


Why not replace "grandma" with "grandparent" as well? I know I won't be calling my grandma any time soon, even if I wanted to!


Yeah he also assumes that you have a dad, what about if you have 2 moms! Also, he assumes that your grandma is still alive!

And BTW, "girlfriend" could apply to gay coder chick.


Umm, it's more like a figure of speech. Anyone (I hope) can make the connection that he's referring to a romantic partner.


He also assumes you don't have a grandad or a mother, that's cruel


Your comment seems to assume only straight coder guys can have girlfriends.

The author is just giving examples of people you can talk to, if it just said 'Call your girlfriend' that would be different.


No. I actually thought it, but I assumed the author would refer to straight guys as an audience. I might be wrong though. I didn't not make any assumptions about his actual audience, only about the author's perception.


making assumptions is racist. and sexist. and very much not PC. shame on you!


You mean something like: "anyone"?


Wow


Thank you for this insightful, valuable comment.




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