This is a good question, and something I've thought about too. I suspect many HN readers have as well. It seems like there is a very fine line between being confident, smart, and helpful and being arrogant. In IT especially, we can be really intelligent on some levels - able to do these wizard-like things that mortals heap praise on us for- but then real assholes on other levels- thinking our wizardry applies to all aspects of our self and coloring our view of others. Confession: Just now, I berated (behind her back) a user for not knowing how to close a browser tab. To her face (I think, in this case) I was polite and helpful. I'd say I was arrogant to the degree I thought or acted like I was generally smarter and better than her. The problem is that sometimes it is subjective - people being helped may be sensitive and feel like you are "talking down" to them when you are not. Or sometimes, in a given situation, you may really slip into arrogance without realizing it.
I'm sure others will tell you I'm not great at it, but I think the key is to cultivate an attitude where you _genuinely_ value all other people regardless of ability (or whatever you suspect is causing you to value people lower.) If you're in a position to do so, _genuinely_ want to help other people to the degree they want to be helped.
A few things that come to mind to combat it:
- Be genuinely humble. Don't think you are "a better person" than anybody.
- Value people as people, not by material measures like intellect, health, wealth, etc.
- It is ok to think you are good at something, but don't brag. Realize you have not always been good, and there is always somebody better.
- When appropriate, help others, but be sure they want help.
- When helping, be really nice and sympathetic to those you help.
- Volunteer and serve poor/needy/disabled. Don't be proud or brag about doing it, but genuinely want to help those who for whatever reason are not lucky enough to be discussing arrogance on HN ;) Talk to the people and learn their names and stories. Just interacting with those people and treating them as people will help you find balance.
I'm sure others will tell you I'm not great at it, but I think the key is to cultivate an attitude where you _genuinely_ value all other people regardless of ability (or whatever you suspect is causing you to value people lower.) If you're in a position to do so, _genuinely_ want to help other people to the degree they want to be helped.
A few things that come to mind to combat it:
- Be genuinely humble. Don't think you are "a better person" than anybody.
- Value people as people, not by material measures like intellect, health, wealth, etc.
- It is ok to think you are good at something, but don't brag. Realize you have not always been good, and there is always somebody better.
- When appropriate, help others, but be sure they want help.
- When helping, be really nice and sympathetic to those you help.
- Volunteer and serve poor/needy/disabled. Don't be proud or brag about doing it, but genuinely want to help those who for whatever reason are not lucky enough to be discussing arrogance on HN ;) Talk to the people and learn their names and stories. Just interacting with those people and treating them as people will help you find balance.